Deck 7: Love and Intimacy

Question 1

Using John Alan Lee's colors of love, examine a relationship that you are in (or were in) and analyze the styles of love that you and your partner use (d). Which love style do you think would be hardest for you to deal with in a partner and why?

Answer 1

John Alan Lee proposed the theory of six loves styles, also known as the colors of love. This theory groups love as six colors, presented as follows:
1. Eros: this type of love s is dominated by romance
2. Ludos: this type of love s is dominated by conquest
3. Storage: this type of love s is dominated by friendship
4. Pragma: this type of love s is dominated by practicality
5. Mania: this type of love s is dominated by obsession
6. Agape: this type of love s is dominated by selflessness
My first relationship was fits into the description of "storage" as it was fueled by a good friend without much influence from the other five types of love.
In my opinion, the hardest love style to deal with would be 'Mania' as it is driven by obsession which can lead to unpleasant consequences.

Question 2

Think of a love relationship that you have been in. Describe how each of the theories proposed in this chapter would explain why you loved your partner. Which theory do you think does the best job? Why?

Answer 2

The theories to explain love that were discussed in this chapter are listed as follows:
John lee's colors of love
Robert Stenberg's three-element love theory
The behavioral reinforcement theory
The cognitive theories
The physiological arousal theory
The biological theories
My first love relationship was fueled by friendship and it fits into the "Storage" type of love as proposed by John lee's colors of love.
All theories try to explain the love relationship from different angles and each has its own advantages and limitations. Among the various theories, in my opinion, the behavioral reinforcement theory does the best job. This is due to the behavioral and emotional quotient that the theory takes into account to explain the love relationship.

Question 3

Do you think the research on pheromones fits with your own experiences? Are you attracted (or not attracted) to people by their smell?

Answer 3

The role of pheromones in animal behavior, especially in insects and certain vertebrates are well documented. However, research on pheromones and their effects on humans are in the early stages and require several substantial evidences to arrive at a conclusive decision.
Hence, the current research focusing on the effects of pheromones on human behavior does not fit into my experiences. I also do not get attracted to people based on their smell.

Question 4

Explain what gender differences have been found in love and tie this research to an example from one of your past relationships.

Question 5

How long do you think is appropriate to wait in a relationship before engaging in sex? Why?

Question 6

Have you ever been involved with a partner who was jealous? What was the hardest part of this relationship? How did you handle the jealousy?