Deck 9: Communicating With Romantic Partners

Question 1

Factors such as _______ are primarily responsible for long-term romantic relationship success.

A) intuition, physical attraction, and love at first sight
B) humor, physical attraction, and small talk
C) physical expressiveness, personal messaging, and disclosure
D) trust, agreeableness, and emotional expressiveness

Answer 1

D

Question 2

This model depicts five stages of intimacy development (coming together) and five stages in which people distance themselves from each other (coming apart).

A) Knapp's developmental model
B) Knapp's maintenance model
C) The structural intimacy model
D) The relational intimacy model

Answer 2

A

Question 3

The _______ stage is likely to involve a wedding, a commitment ceremony, or some other public means of communicating to the world that this is a relationship meant to last.

A) experimenting
B) intensifying
C) integrating
D) bonding*

Answer 3

D

Question 4

In this stage, truly interpersonal relationships develop as people begin to express how they feel about each other.

A) Experimenting
B) Intensifying
C) Integrating
D) Bonding

Question 5

In the _______ stage, communication decreases in quantity and quality.

A) circumscribing
B) stagnating
C) avoiding
D) integrating

Question 6

Sofia and Christian have been dating for over a year. They've had their ups and downs, but they've been growing apart. Every time Sofia calls Christian, he makes the excuse, "I've been busy lately," and recently they have given up following each other on social media. What stage are they likely in?

A) Circumscribing
B) Stagnating
C) Avoiding
D) Integrating

Question 7

Lucas and Charlotte are married. They unenthusiastically repeat the same conversations and follow the same routines. What stage are they likely in?

A) Circumscribing
B) Stagnating
C) Avoiding
D) Integrating

Question 8

Crystal and Noah have been getting acquainted through "small talk" and viewing each other's social media profiles. What stage are they likely in?

A) Initiating
B) Experimenting
C) Intensifying
D) Integrating

Question 9

Alexander and Evelyn post pictures of themselves together on Facebook. They now move in many of the same social circles, have begun to share possessions, and they even have their own "song." What stage are they likely in?

A) Initiating
B) Experimenting
C) Intensifying
D) Integrating

Question 10

Stephan and Melanie recently had a disagreement. Rather than talk about it, they've each decided that they don't have the energy to fight. As a result, they've spent less time together. When they do spend time together, they fall into familiar patterns and talk about the weather or work. There isn't much emotion in their conversations. Choose which of the following statements best characterizes their relationship.

A) Their relationship is differentiated.
B) Their relationship is doomed.
C) Their relationship is terminated.
D) Their relationship is stagnated.

Question 11

Emma and David are on their second date together. They ask each other questions to get better acquainted. They talk about their jobs and tell funny stories, although neither is ready to disclose too much personal information just yet. What stage are they likely in?

A) Initiating
B) Experimenting
C) Intensifying
D) Integrating

Question 12

Evidence suggests that

A) women are more likely to fall in love, and profess their love, sooner than men are.
B) men are likely to fall in love, and profess their love, sooner than women are.
C) men and women are equally likely to believe in love at first sight.
D) women are more likely to believe in love at first sight.

Question 13

In terms of the acknowledgement and disclosure of romantic feelings, _______ consider physical attraction to be a strong predictor of compatibility.

A) men and women equally
B) more women than men
C) more men than women
D) neither women nor men

Question 14

When Elena told Andy, with whom she has been on a few dates, that she was not ready to consider physical closeness and intimacy before further discussing the emotional aspect of their growing relationship, what was she most likely indicating about gender and intimacy?

A) Many men tend to regard sex as a way to create intimacy.
B) Many women tend to regard personal talk as the pathway to intimacy.
C) Emotional expression isn't the only way to develop close relationships.
D) Men also value a sense of intimacy.

Question 15

Research has suggested that, on average, long-term same-sex partners typically match up well in terms of supportive communication, emotional closeness, and the effort each partner puts into maintaining the relationship. Which of the following options best represents what this tells us?

A) Same-sex couples face mostly the same challenges as anyone else.
B) Gender is a fast-changing social construct.
C) There has been an assumption that the most important ingredients of intimacy are sharing personal information and being emotionally supportive.
D) It is suggested that while same-sex couples face mostly the same challenges as anyone else, they have probably been socialized to communicate in similar ways and to have similar expectations.

Question 16

This language includes compliments, thanks, and statements that express love and commitment.

A) Affirming words
B) Quality time
C) Acts of service
D) Gifts

Question 17

This language may involve a hug, a kiss, a pat on the back, or having sex.

A) Affirming words
B) Quality time
C) Acts of service
D) Physical touch

Question 18

With this language, people may show love by performing favors such as caring for each other when they are sick, doing the dishes, making meals, and so on.

A) Affirming words
B) Quality time
C) Acts of service
D) Gifts

Question 19

By engaging in _______, some people show love by completing tasks together, talking, or engaging in some other mutually enjoyable activity.

A) affirming words
B) quality time
C) acts of service
D) gifts

Question 20

Individuals usually give some _______ greater weight than others, although in general people tend to value all of them to some extent.

A) thought patterns
B) focuses
C) love languages
D) languages

Question 21

Deshawn and Carol talk about the vacations they plan to take together and the enjoyment they'll get out of it. It makes them feel closer together. What love language are they using?

A) Affirming words
B) Quality time
C) Acts of service
D) Gifts

Question 22

Michelle continues to flirt with Landon, although they've been married for 10 years. How would you categorize Michelle's flirting?

A) Affirming words
B) Quality time
C) Acts of service
D) Gifts

Question 23

When Philippe sends roses to Melanie for Valentine's Day, what love language is he using?

A) Affirming words
B) Quality time
C) Acts of service
D) Gifts

Question 24

Shiloh brought Logan soup when he was sick. She wanted him to know she cared. She is using

A) affirming words.
B) quality time.
C) acts of service.
D) physical touch.

Question 25

Heather appreciates when Thomas shows intimacy towards her by making physical contact and rubbing her back. Because Heather appreciates that kind of intimacy, she often touches Thomas and rubs his back. How is Heather's intimacy towards Thomas best characterized?

A) The way she shows intimacy towards Thomas is appropriate.
B) The way she shows intimacy towards Thomas is inappropriate.
C) The way she shows intimacy towards Thomas may or may not be appropriate because the challenge is to communicate in a love language that resonates with your partner.
D) The way she shows intimacy towards Thomas shows that touch is potent even in long-term relationships.

Question 26

"Some committed couples report that sharing daily tasks is the most frequent way they show their love and commitment. Each person must contribute in exactly the same way, because making the effort together is important." Read through the description above and decide which answer below is correct.

A) The words "Some committed" should be replaced with "Intimate."
B) The line "Some committed couples report that sharing daily tasks is the most frequent way they show their love" should be replaced with "Happy couples report that experiencing daily tasks is the most important way they show their love."
C) The line "way they show their love and commitment" should be replaced with "way they display intimacy."
D) The phrase "Each person must contribute in exactly the same way, because" should be replaced with "Although each person need not contribute in exactly the same ways".

Question 27

Blake enjoys spending time with Rachel. He knows that she is usually tired when she gets in from work, so he is happy to make their meal, do the dishes after, and generally allow her to relax. Which of the following statements best characterizes their relationship?

A) Blake is not intimate with Rachel.
B) Blake is showing intimacy by acts of service such as spending time with and doing things for Rachel.
C) Blake's love language of choice is most likely quality time.
D) If Blake better understood intimacy, he would use more affirming words.

Question 28

The _______ suggests that relational partners must continually struggle to manage opposing forces, wishes, and inclinations within their relationship.

A) developmental model
B) model of relationship management
C) Knapp model
D) model of relational dialectics

Question 29

The conflicting desires for togetherness and independence are embodied in the _______ dialectic.

A) independence-association
B) predictability-novelty
C) openness-privacy
D) connection-autonomy*

Question 30

Sophia shares most things with her partner, Jack. However, there are times when Sophia wants to maintain some emotional space from Jack and so she doesn't tell him everything she talks to her girlfriend, Elsa, about. Which dialectical tension does this illustrate?

A) Independence-association
B) Predictability-novelty
C) Openness-privacy
D) Connection-autonomy

Question 31

Hector proposed to Alex just before graduation. He likely did this because of the uncertainty facing them during this next phase in their lives. Which dialectical tension does this illustrate?

A) Independence-association
B) Predictability-novelty
C) Openness-privacy
D) Connection-autonomy

Question 32

Safia is sometimes frustrated because Amar spends all of his free time practicing martial arts and doesn't seem to have any time to spend with her. However, instead of getting upset, Safia thinks to herself, "Well, at least he's active and healthy, and he'll be very happy when he gets his next belt." Which means of managing dialectical tension does this illustrate?

A) Denial
B) Selection
C) Moderation
D) Reframing

Question 33

Eddie and Madeline are struggling with the connection-autonomy dialectic. In response, Eddie has given up all of his hobbies in an effort to spend all of his time with Madeline. Madeline demonstrates an equally extreme commitment to remaining independent from Eddie. Which means of managing dialectical tension does this illustrate?

A) Denial
B) Polarization
C) Alternation
D) Reframing

Question 34

When partners decide to spend most of their time apart during the week, but reserve their entire weekends for couple time, they are managing dialectical tension with the tactic called

A) denial.
B) polarization.
C) alternation.
D) reframing.

Question 35

A case of deception intended to be non-malicious, or even helpful, to the person to whom it is directed is referred to as a(n)

A) altruistic lie.
B) evasion.
C) omission.
D) fabrication.

Question 36

A type of deception in which one person withholds information that another person deserves to know is referred to as a(n)

A) altruistic lie.
B) evasion.
C) omission.
D) fabrication.

Question 37

Creating a false persona online to fool others into thinking that they are communicating with a real person is referred to as

A) butlering.
B) evading.
C) omitting.
D) catfishing.

Question 38

A message in which a speaker deliberately misleads another person for the speaker's own benefit is referred to as a(n)

A) altruistic lie.
B) evasion.
C) fabrication.
D) gray area.

Question 39

A statement that is not an outright mistruth but is deliberately vague is referred to as a(n)

A) altruistic lie.
B) evasion.
C) omission.
D) fabrication.

Question 40

Research has indicated that _______ students admitted to having lied to a romantic partner.

A) about 7 in 10*
B) all
C) almost no
D) roughly half of

Question 41

Pam is ready to leave her boyfriend Ted's house. She is tired and really wants to be at home, but she doesn't want to hurt his feelings, so she says, "Well, it's getting late." What type of deception did she use?

A) A fabrication
B) An altruistic lie
C) An omission
D) An evasion

Question 42

Edwin has cooked dinner for Mariel. When he asks her how she liked it, she doesn't want to tell him that she didn't. Instead, she tells him, "It was good!" What type of deception did she use?

A) An altruistic lie
B) An evasion
C) An omission
D) A fabrication

Question 43

Paco asks Ricardo if he had a good time at the beach with him. Ricardo did not. In response, he says, "It was interesting." What type of deception did he use?

A) An altruistic lie
B) An evasion*
C) An omission
D) A fabrication

Question 44

Jim tells Karen that he was just out with the guys, when in reality he went out with a woman he works with. What type of deception did he use?

A) An altruistic lie
B) An evasion
C) An omission
D) A fabrication

Question 45

Arthur comes out of the dressing room in an orange suit. He can wear any color suit he'd like at his job. Carolina does not like it at all, but says, "It looks really great!" Choose the option that best makes Carolina's response more evasive.

A) "It looks pretty sharp!"
B) "That's perfect!"
C) "It sure is different!"
D) "They don't allow that color at work!"

Question 46

When a communicator expresses hostility in an ambiguous way, it's called

A) a directly aggressive message.
B) passive aggression.
C) a nonassertive statement.
D) assertiveness.

Question 47

The inability or unwillingness to express thoughts or feelings in a conflict is known as

A) a directly aggressive message.
B) passive aggression.
C) nonassertion.
D) assertiveness.

Question 48

Handling conflicts by expressing your needs, thoughts, or feelings and inviting others to do the same is known as

A) direct aggression.
B) passive aggression.
C) nonassertion.
D) assertiveness.

Question 49

An expression of the sender's thoughts or feelings that attacks the character, intelligence, or dignity of the receiver is known as

A) a directly aggressive message.
B) passive aggression.
C) nonassertion.
D) assertiveness.

Question 50

Sari walks into the house with a distressed look on her face. Her boyfriend Ishmael responds to her look by saying, "What did you do this time?!" Which style of expressing conflict did he use?

A) Passive aggression
B) Nonassertion
C) Assertiveness
D) Avoidance

Question 51

Abbey tells her friend Mary, "You are so dumb. That was a really stupid thing you did." Which style of expressing conflict did she use?

A) Direct aggression
B) Passive aggression
C) Nonassertion
D) Assertiveness

Question 52

Bob tells Elise, "I notice that you bristle every time we talk about having another baby. I realize I'm not always as understanding as I should be. I'd like to talk to with you about it openly. Is there anything we can do to make the conversation less stressful for you?" Which style of expressing conflict did he use?

A) Direct aggression
B) Passive aggression
C) Nonassertion
D) Assertiveness

Question 53

Expressions of _______ may be explicit or nonverbal (e.g., sneering and eye-rolling, or a condescending or mocking tone of voice).

A) criticism
B) contempt
C) nonassertion
D) defensiveness

Question 54

A form of avoidance in which one person refuses to engage with the other is known as

A) criticism.
B) contempt.
C) stonewalling.
D) defensiveness.

Question 55

Eric responds to his partner's disapproval with counterattacks. "You're calling me messy? You're the one who never cleans up your plates after dinner!" Which of the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" does this illustrate?

A) Criticism
B) Contempt
C) Stonewalling
D) Defensiveness

Question 56

Sarah attacks her partner, Brian, when he comes home late from work. "You only ever think about yourself. I worked hard at making you a hot dinner and now it's cold. You never show me respect." Which of the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" does this illustrate?

A) Criticism
B) Contempt
C) Stonewalling
D) Defensiveness

Question 57

Which of the following options expresses contempt?

A) "You think you're the only person who's ever right!"
B) "Everyone thinks you're an idiot!"
C) "You say I'm the problem? You're the one that's always screwing up!"
D) Giving the "silent treatment."

Question 58

Which tactic applies to win-win problem solving?

A) Always follow the same, exact, step-by-step approach.
B) Satisfy your partner's needs before your own.
C) Practice the recommended approach a few times until you are comfortable with it.
D) First, identify your partner's problem.

Question 59

Andrea has always been bothered by her husband Ronnie's habit of snoring at night. Adopting a win-win approach to the issue, she decides that because she is bothered, this particular issue is her problem. Which stage in the win-win problem strategy has she arrived at?

A) Identify your problem and unmet needs.
B) Check your partner's understanding.
C) Ask about your partner's needs.
D) Negotiate a solution.

Question 60

Andrea has always been bothered by her husband, Ronnie's, habit of snoring at night. Adopting a win-win approach to the issue, she says, "I know you can't help snoring, but although I've never mentioned it before, it's now really causing me to lose a lot of sleep." Which stage in the win-win problem strategy has she arrived at?

A) Make a date.
B) Check your partner's understanding.
C) Ask about your partner's needs.
D) Describe your problem and needs.

Question 61

When you have reached the stage of negotiating the solution to an issue in win-win-problem solving, it is advisable first of all to

A) paraphrase your partner's needs.
B) partner in thinking of as many potential solutions as possible.
C) find out what your partner needs to feel satisfied about the issue.
D) check your partner's understanding.

Question 62

Which of the following statements about win-win problem solving is true?

A) There will be times when even the best-intentioned people simply won't be able to find a way of meeting all their needs.
B) If no solution can be found, it is best to give up trying.
C) Negotiating a solution is the final stage in win-win problem solving.
D) Win-win problem solving is a very loosely structured activity.

Question 63

Brandt and Seena are out to dinner. Brandt is unhappy that Seena always complains about the cost of the bill. He wants to confront her by applying win-win problem-solving. Analyze the following options and choose the best one for Brandt to use.

A) "I know you always get stressed about the bill. Let's talk about what bothers you."
B) "We're going to talk about why the cost of the bill is such a big deal."
C) "I love going out to dinner with you and spending the time together. I know the cost of the bill bothers you, but it bothers me that it is such an issue when we're having such quality time together."
D) "I like to go out with you, but you never think about how your complaints and fuss over the bill affect me."

Question 64

What are the seven recommended ways to transition from online to in-person dating?

Question 65

Name the five love languages described in the chapter.

Question 66

Name the two main types of self-serving lies.

Question 67

Name the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse."

Question 68

Explain the similarities and differences between male and female intimacy styles.

Question 69

Compare Knapp's developmental model with the model of relational dialectics.

Question 70

Identify and describe some key facts about deception in romantic relationships.

Question 71

Describe some recommended ways to protect yourself and get help if you find yourself in an abusive relationship.

Question 72

What is the best way to adopt a win-win approach to problem solving?