Deck 8: Communicating in Intimate Relationships

Question 1

Fairytales such as Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty provide a romantic (if not realistic) depiction of ___________ relationships.

A) social
B) intimate
C) real
D) familial

Answer 1

intimate

Question 2

With which of the following groups do we have the most intimate relationships?

A) Close friends
B) Co-workers
C) Acquaintances
D) Romantic partners

Answer 2

Romantic partners

Question 3

Which of the following terms refers to the significant emotional closeness that you experience in a relationship, romantic or not?

A) Closeness
B) Commitment
C) Intimacy
D) Interdependence

Answer 3

Intimacy

Question 4

Ryan O'Neal and Farrah Fawcett had an almost 30-year relationship that, despite its ups and downs, did not end until her death in 2009. O'Neal was by Fawcett's side through her long battle with cancer and was with her when she died. Despite their many difficulties, this couple had a deep level of ___________ toward one another.

A) intimacy
B) interdependence
C) closeness
D) commitment

Question 5

Which of the following is NOT a form of commitment?

A) Psychic
B) Emotional
C) Social
D) Legal

Question 6

When you listen to your sister's problems, even when they seem trivial to you, you are exhibiting what kind of commitment to her?

A) Personal
B) Social
C) Emotional
D) Legal

Question 7

Caroline does not enjoy spending time with her husband's family at all. She finds them to be overbearing and pretentious, and she's sure her mother-in-law does not like her. However, because of her __________ commitment to her husband, Caroline spends holidays and some vacations with her in-laws.

A) legal
B) financial
C) emotional
D) social

Question 8

Which of the following describes engaging in specific behaviors aimed at increasing intimacy with the target of a person's affection, including spying, sending the target unwelcome expressions of attraction or love, and engaging in sexually harassing behaviors?

A) Relationship compulsion
B) Obsessive relational intrusion
C) Stalking
D) Obsessive compulsive disorder

Question 9

Which term describes the dynamic, common in families and close relationships, in which one person's actions influence the lives of others?

A) Commitment
B) Investment
C) Interdependence
D) Intimacy

Question 10

If your best friend gets a job in another city, you would most likely not sell your home and follow him or her. However, if your spouse or partner got a job in another city, you would seriously consider the possibility of moving. Your different reactions to the same situation, but in relation to different people, corresponds to which of the following?

A) Investment
B) Interdependence
C) Intimacy
D) Commitment

Question 11

Intimate relationships usually involve a higher commitment of our energies and other resources, called

A) investment.
B) interdependence.
C) dialects.
D) costs.

Question 12

If you think you are putting more into your relationship than your partner is, it's easy to feel resentful that there isn't an equal level of

A) interdependence.
B) dialect.
C) investment.
D) intimacy.

Question 13

Which term describes conflicts between two important but opposing needs or desires in relationships?

A) Fights
B) Dialectical tensions
C) Conflicts of interest
D) Tensions

Question 14

Which of the following is NOT a common dialectical tension in intimate relationships?

A) Autonomy versus connection
B) Openness versus closedness
C) Predictability versus novelty
D) Commitment versus insecurity

Question 15

James was always close to his mother, but as he enters adolescence, he wants to spend less and less time with her. He finds her to be overbearing and overprotective. However, at times he finds himself craving the security of the relationship he used to have with his mother and wants to connect again emotionally with her. James is experiencing which dialectical tension?

A) Commitment versus insecurity
B) Openness versus closedness
C) Autonomy versus connection
D) Predictability versus novelty

Question 16

Self-disclosure is most closely connected to which dialectical tension?

A) Predictability versus novelty
B) Commitment versus insecurity
C) Openness versus closedness
D) Autonomy versus connection

Question 17

Partners who have been together for ten years should not only appreciate the orderliness and certainty that comes from knowing someone for so long, but should also make sure to incorporate new activities to provide change and newness. By balancing these two needs, a couple can successfully navigate which dialectical tension?

A) Commitment versus insecurity
B) Openness versus closedness
C) Autonomy versus connection
D) Predictability versus novelty

Question 18

Which of the following statements is NOT true about marriages and long-term romantic relationships?

A) Being married raises a person's likelihood of engaging in risky behaviors.
B) Married people live longer and healthier lives than do those who never marry.
C) Married people are less likely to suffer from psychological disorders, such as depression, than are never-married people.
D) Single people are more likely than married people to use an illicit drug such as marijuana.

Question 19

Which of the following terms can be defined as participation in only one romantic relationship at a time and avoidance of romantic or sexual involvement with others outside of that relationship?

A) Infidelity
B) Monogamy
C) Loyalty
D) Commitment

Question 20

Lucas and Chloe have been together for two years. They are fully committed to one another and their relationship. However, they have chosen to have an "open"relationship, wherein romantic and/or sexual involvement with others outside the relationship is accepted. Although their family and friends don't understand the relationship, Lucas and Chloe feel that what they have is strong. This relationship illustrates the idea that some romantic relationships

A) are voluntary, and some are not.
B) are based on love, and some are not.
C) are exclusive, and some are not.
D) involve same-sex partners, and some do not.

Question 21

If a couple stays together "for the kids", it is because some romantic relationships

A) involve same-sex partners, and some do not.
B) are based on love, and some are not.
C) are voluntary, and some are not.
D) are exclusive, and some are not.

Question 22

Many people in same-sex relationships live as ________, often jointly owning property and raising children together, and even questioning whether they should be allowed to legally marry.

A) lovers
B) cohabitators
C) couples
D) domestic partners

Question 23

Some people in _____________ relationships report they appreciate the closeness and intimacy they share with multiple partners, whereas others indicate feelings of jealousy and resentment that lead to increased conflict.

A) polygamous
B) multiple
C) monogamous
D) committed

Question 24

In some cultures, the practice of arranged marriages is common and accepted because of the effect that culture has on expectations for which of the following?

A) exclusivity
B) voluntariness
C) sexuality
D) love

Question 25

Your text discussed how culture affects all of the following expectations for intimate relationships EXCEPT which?

A) Sexuality
B) Love
C) Exclusivity
D) Commitment

Question 26

Chaman is introduced to Hakesh by her family. They are both originally from India, and both are still very involved and immersed in their culture, even though they now live in Washington,D. C. Chaman likes Hakesh, and when he asks her to marry him, she agrees, even though she doesn't feel she is in love with him. She knows that it is a good match and that it will please her family; since she gets along with him, Chaman thinks it will be a good marriage. This is because culture affects expectations for

A) love.
B) exclusivity.
C) voluntariness.
D) sexuality.

Question 27

Same-sex partners can marry with full legal recognition in 10 countries, and many other countries recognize civil unions or domestic partnerships. These countries can be contrasted with those that prohibit people of the same sex from being romantically or sexually involved at all. There are even countries that impose the death penalty for those who violate such laws. What accounts for these extreme differences between countries?

A) Culture affects expectations for love.
B) Culture affects expectations for exclusivity.
C) Culture affects expectations for sexuality.
D) Culture affects expectations for voluntariness.

Question 28

During the _________ stage of relationship development, you might ask such questions as "What movies do you like"? and "How many brothers and sisters do you have"? to gain more information about a potential partner.

A) initiating
B) integrating
C) experimenting
D) bonding

Question 29

Alex and Madison have been on a few dates and really like each other. They decide to have a picnic in the park with all of their friends so they can meet each other's social circles. After the picnic, they sit on the beach and talk about their fears and secrets about the past. At the end of the date, Alex tells Madison "You are really special to me". Alex and Madison are in the _________ stage of relationship development.

A) bonding
B) intensifying
C) integrating
D) experimenting

Question 30

Beyond serving as a public expression of a couple's commitment, which stage of relationship development also allows individuals to gain support and approval of people in their social networks?

A) Intensifying
B) Integrating
C) Experimenting
D) Bonding

Question 31

"Winking"at someone on an online dating service would be an example of which of the following?

A) Experimenting
B) Intensifying
C) Initiating
D) Bonding

Question 32

Which of the following statements is the most accurate about relationship formation?

A) The stages of relational development are exclusive to opposite-sex romantic couples.
B) Relationships develop quite differently online than they do in real life.
C) Relationship formation is not identical in all cultures.
D) Most couples go through the stages of relationship development in the same way.

Question 33

Which of the following terms describes an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals?

A) Arguing
B) Conflict
C) Disagreeing
D) Differentiating

Question 34

Saria and Emily have been together for several years and are raising two children together. Lately, their relationship has had some conflict because they disagree about where to send their children to school. Saria wants an exclusive private school, but Emily is concerned about the cost. She just doesn't think they can afford Saria's plan, so she wants them to go to public school. Saria thinks that if they would just give up vacations and dinners out, they could afford the private school. What is this conflict about?

A) Scarce resources
B) Interference from another party
C) Incompatible goals
D) Unrealistic expectations

Question 35

It is often the way couples handle _______________, rather than how much of it they experience, that influences the success of their relationships.

A) commitment
B) intimacy
C) problems
D) conflict

Question 36

Which word best describes romantic partners who talk about their disagreements openly and cooperatively?

A) Volatile
B) Hostile
C) Validating
D) Conflict-avoiding

Question 37

During conflicts that arise in their relationship, Gavin and Mia tend to be very negative and quick to express anger and disappointment. They have a hard time listening to one another and instead spend arguments trying to persuade the other person to agree with them. Although their arguments are heated, they are often followed by intense periods of affection and "making up". Which word best describes Gavin and Mia as a couple?

A) Volatile
B) Hostile
C) Conflict-avoiding
D) Validating

Question 38

Leah and Matt find out they are expecting a baby. Matt wants to tell their family and friends right away, but Leah wants to wait three months before sharing the information, as that is when the risk of miscarriage is highest. According to __________________ theory, Leah and Matt jointly own the information about Leah's pregnancy and must both decide when and how to share it.

A) privacy
B) self-disclosure
C) communication privacy management
D) self-disclosure agreement

Question 39

In keeping with the idea that romantic relationships vary in how they handle _____________, studies show that people in satisfying marriages maintain a ratio of approximately five positive behaviors for every one negative behavior. This can be contrasted with unhappy couples, who are more likely to reciprocate expressions of negative emotion.

A) privacy
B) emotional communication
C) conflict
D) instrumental communication

Question 40

What is the most common form of communication in a relationship?

A) Emotional
B) Factual
C) Conflict
D) Instrumental

Question 41

___________ communication can be one of the most contentious issues couples face, as romantic partners often disagree over the division of responsibilities for daily tasks.

A) Physical
B) Instrumental
C) Emotional
D) Factual

Question 42

If Jamie begins to view his girlfriend's differences as annoying, he is most likely in the ________ stage of relationship deterioration.

A) differentiating
B) avoiding
C) circumscribing
D) stagnating

Question 43

When romantic partners enter the ___________ stage of relationship deterioration, they begin to decrease the quality and quantity of their communication with each other.

A) differentiating
B) stagnating
C) circumscribing
D) avoiding

Question 44

After many years, it is not uncommon for relationships to come into which stage, when partners feel as if they are "going through the motions" and the relationship stops growing?

A) Stagnating
B) Differentiating
C) Circumscribing
D) Avoiding

Question 45

Ben and Sasha have not been happy in their relationship for a few months. Sasha finds herself making excuses when Ben goes to kiss or hug her, claiming a migraine or illness. Ben finds reasons not to be home at night; he likes to work late or go out with his friends. Ben and Sasha are most likely in which stage of relationship deterioration?

A) Circumscribing
B) Terminating
C) Stagnating
D) Avoiding

Question 46

Our relationships with which of the following groups are distinguished by the depth of our engagement, as well as the fact that they can be both positive and negative forces in our lives?

A) Families
B) Friends
C) Children
D) Parents

Question 47

Which of the following is NOT considered an important familial characteristic?

A) Legal obligations
B) Role behaviors
C) Proximity behaviors
D) Genetic ties

Question 48

Ruby's father has never been around. He left her mother shortly after Ruby's birth, and only calls to check in on Ruby once or twice a year. He has never sent a birthday card or come to see Ruby in a school show. When Ruby is asked about her father, she simply tells people she doesn't have one. This is because Ruby probably believes that although sharing a __________ makes two people biological relatives, it does not necessarily make them family.

A) legal obligation
B) genetic tie
C) family
D) last name

Question 49

In the film Precious, the title character is physically, sexually, and mentally abused by her mother. In addition to throwing pans at Precious and calling her names, Precious's mother either starves her or forces her to overeat and berates her for going to school. It is clear early in the film that Precious's mother has failed in her _______________ toward her, neglecting her responsibilities to house, feed, educate, and care for her child.

A) legal obligations
B) genetic ties
C) role behaviors
D) psychological responsibilities

Question 50

________ behaviors may include a family living together, taking care of each other, loving each other, and representing themselves as a family to outsiders.

A) Familial
B) Relational
C) Social
D) Role

Question 51

Your family of ___________ is the family you grew up in, typically consisting of your parents or stepparents and any siblings you have.

A) genetics
B) origin
C) procreation
D) derivation

Question 52

One family type that is becoming increasingly common is the ________ family, with two adult partners raising children who are not the biological offspring of both partners.

A) nuclear
B) origin
C) blended
D) single-parent

Question 53

Positions in a family, such as father and son, are based on the structure of your relationships with others, but _________ are based on the social and emotional functions that your behaviors serve within your family.

A) norms
B) rituals
C) roles
D) parts

Question 54

The Jones family is having conflict over where to go for vacation next summer. Mac, the father, is annoyed, blaming his wife Jen for the conflict, because she insisted the decision be based on a vote. Jen is placating everyone, trying to keep them calm. Meanwhile, their son Jett is trying to use logic and reason to persuade everyone to agree to his point of view. His twin Jade is uncomfortable with the entire decision, so she is trying to distract everyone with jokes and offhand comments. This is how most conflicts go in the Jones household, because the Jones family members typically fall into these _________ during conflict episodes.

A) roles
B) rituals
C) stories
D) secrets

Question 55

Spending every Halloween scaring trick-or-treaters who come to the door would be an example of a family

A) story.
B) secret.
C) habit.
D) ritual.

Question 56

Jamila loves how every time she brings a new friend by her grandparents' house, her grandfather insists on showing pictures of Jamila as a young ballerina. He will tell humorous details about how she couldn't keep time and could never remember the steps. Despite its numerous re-tellings, this family _________ still makes Jamila and her grandfather laugh as they share their history.

A) secret
B) role
C) story
D) ritual

Question 57

Family _________ often contain information the family considers private and not appropriate for sharing with outsiders.

A) roles
B) secrets
C) rituals
D) stories

Question 58

Which of the following is considered a confirming message?

A) Control
B) Strategy
C) Spontaneity
D) Certainty

Question 59

Your brother asks what you think of his term paper. You don't think it is very good, but you decide to go with a more confirming response, saying, "I'm not sure, but then again I never was very good in English". By using a ______________ message, you convey your point of view while inviting alternative views so as not to hurt your brother's feelings.

A) provisional
B) descriptive
C) empathy
D) equality

Question 60

If your friend is telling you about a particularly emotional issue she is having and your response is simply, "It'll be fine", your message is

A) appropriate.
B) confirming.
C) empathic.
D) disconfirming.

Question 61

Lily likes her classmate Beth, but finds her to be disingenuous at times. After class, Beth will ask, "What are you doing right now"? If Lily says nothing or that she is going home, Beth will then ask for a ride home. Lily wishes that Beth would use the ______________ message of spontaneity and just ask directly for a ride home instead of "trapping" Lily into it.

A) confirming
B) disconfirming
C) honest
D) positive

Question 62

Which of the following is NOT one of John Gottman's "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse"?

A) Contempt
B) Stonewalling
C) Criticism
D) Disapproval

Question 63

One of the first warning signs of distress in a relationship is when partners engage in _________, or complaints about each other.

A) contempt
B) stonewalling
C) criticism
D) defensiveness

Question 64

Natalie and Xavier have been having difficulties in their relationship for a long time. They've stopped being kind to one another and do not treat each other respectfully. In one particular argument, Xavier accuses Natalie of spending too much time with her friends, but she fires back that it is because he ignores her when they are home. He says he ignores her because she is always nagging him. Natalie and Xavier's portrayal of themselves as victims, and their denial of responsibility for their own behavior, are examples of which of the following?

A) Contempt
B) Defensiveness
C) Criticism
D) Stonewalling

Question 65

People who engage in _______________ stop looking at their partners, stop speaking, and stop responding to what their partners are saying.

A) defensiveness
B) contempt
C) criticism
D) stonewalling

Question 66

After Tyrese and Ryan move in together, Ryan finds himself disappointed. He thought they'd spend all their time together, but Tyrese still spends time with his other friends. Ryan also discovers Tyrese is messy, even though Ryan expected him to be immaculate. To avoid this type of disappointment, Ryan could have used what strategy?

A) Have realistic expectations.
B) Emphasize excitement and positivity.
C) Handle conflict constructively.
D) Manage dialectical tensions.

Question 67

Which of the following is NOT a strategy for managing dialectical tensions?

A) Segmentation
B) Alternation
C) Orientation
D) Recalibration

Question 68

Abby is feeling frustrated with her boyfriend, Noah. He likes to play online games, and she feels he spends too much time playing and not enough time with her. Noah loves playing online and doesn't want to give it up, but he also loves Abby and wants her to be happy. They finally agree to compromise: Abby brings over her homework and sits with Noah while he plays. They can talk about what is happening and spend time together, while both get something accomplished. Abby and Noah have incorporated what strategy to manage a dialectical tension?

A) Segmentation
B) Integration
C) Reaffirmation
D) Alternation

Question 69

If you decide to embrace the fact that your relationship will "settle" and become more predictable, and you make peace with having less novelty in the relationship, you have used ___________ as a method of dealing with dialectical tension.

A) Reaffirmation
B) Segmentation
C) Alternation
D) Balance