Deck 9: Sexuality, Communication, and Relationships

Question 1

Words provide

A) a hindrance to subtler, nonverbal forms of intimate communication.
B) an important ingredient of communication.
C) an unambiguous basis for communication.
D) precise messages that should be interpreted independently of nonverbal cues.

Answer 1

an important ingredient of communication.

Question 2

In order to reduce miscommunication, it is best to interact in the presence of

A) a feedback system.
B) a highly emotionally charged situation.
C) an audience.
D) many distractions.

Answer 2

a feedback system.

Question 3

The year is 1915 and John is happily announcing his impending fatherhood to coworkers. The term he is least likely to use is

A) expecting.
B) in a family way.
C) in confinement.
D) pregnant.

Answer 3

pregnant.

Question 4

A study found that when describing the penis, men were more likely than women to use words that suggested

A) cuteness.
B) intimacy.
C) power.
D) reproductive function.

Question 5

When it comes to terms for sex-related things or ideas,

A) college students tend to use terms that follow the norms of their parents.
B) men tend to use more negative terms for male than for female sexual organs.
C) people are more likely to use slang terms rather than scientific terms.
D) women tend to use far more specific terms than men.

Question 6

Which of the following is NOT a contemporary myth about communication?

A) An impressive conversationalist never permits any dead air.
B) Strongly held, confident opinions turn people off.
C) The rational mind is the only basis for effective communication.
D) Using the right line will convince a partner to have sex.

Question 7

One of the most difficult aspects of conversation can be

A) dealing with silence.
B) expressing opinions.
C) talking rather than listening.
D) trying to persuade another person.

Question 8

Rhonda believes that if she lets Derek believe she is interested in being sexual with him, he is more likely to ask her to go with him to an upcoming big event. As she gets ready for her date, she rehearses how she will cleverly drop hints about this. Such strategies are usually perceived as

A) awkward.
B) convincing and inviting.
C) direct communication.
D) manipulative.

Question 9

An individual who believes in communication myths is likely to have relationships that are

A) dangerous.
B) highly sexual.
C) intimate.
D) superficial.

Question 10

Because sexual activity often involves vulnerability, it is an area in which many individuals act out their

A) aggressive fantasies.
B) best communication skills.
C) power needs.
D) preoccupation with everyday concerns.

Question 11

Susan grew up in a family in which preparations for every major event were preceded by a major argument after which each family member "proved his or her love" by attending the event in spite of bad feelings. Susan repeats this pattern with her boyfriend Tom. This is an example of how individuals

A) are frightened by the silences in conversation.
B) exert their power in sexual encounters.
C) stifle communication.
D) unknowingly play relationship games.

Question 12

One all-too-common "game" that gets in the way of real communication is

A) acknowledging one's vulnerability to criticism.
B) basing opinions on little or no solid information.
C) confronting difficult problems directly.
D) pushing for resolution of a conflict prematurely.

Question 13

One of the most important elements in a full and satisfying sexual relationship is

A) effective mutual communication.
B) equality of experience.
C) knowledge of various sexual techniques.
D) the availability of a variety of partners.

Question 14

A difficult conversation about intimate sexual issues is a little easier to have if

A) both partners are feeling equally upset about the issue.
B) both partners are very committed to the relationship.
C) it is structured around traditional gender roles of authority and submission.
D) one partner possesses more sexual knowledge than does the other.

Question 15

Which of the following is NOT a useful ground rule for effective communication?

A) Be clear about your own sexual values.
B) Concentrate on expressing your needs rather than listening.
C) Maintain equality of needs and power between the partners.
D) Select a good location for the conversation.

Question 16

Pam tells her partner, "Every time we make love, you always rush to get inside me. I would prefer that we take more time before getting to that point." This honest communication could be improved by

A) avoiding "all-ness" words.
B) beginning the conversation with, "I don't want to hurt you, but. . . ."
C) being less direct.
D) using humor.

Question 17

Which of the following words or phrases is most likely to undermine the effectiveness of intimate communication?

A) "I feel. . . ."
B) "It hard for me to. . . ."
C) "Sometimes. . . ."
D) "You always. . . ."

Question 18

Empathy is

A) expressing one's true feelings.
B) having a deep love for another person.
C) listening carefully.
D) putting oneself temporarily in the other person's place.

Question 19

During a conversation about having sex for the first time Nathan says to his partner, "Let's see if I understand. You would like for us to both be tested for HIV before we have sex." What is Nathan doing?

A) Asking for clarification
B) Empathizing
C) Making "all-ness" statements
D) Using self-talk effectively

Question 20

Silent pauses during a serious conversation

A) are a sign of unequal commitment.
B) can be calming and a sign of intimacy.
C) indicate serious problems in the relationship.
D) suggest that both partners are ignorant of their own values and limits.

Question 21

When Luis prepares for a date by reminding himself of his good characteristics, he is

A) asking for clarification.
B) empathizing.
C) engaging in positive self-talk.
D) making snap judgments.

Question 22

Jill "comes to life"whenever she is in a group. She becomes more energized, funny, and creative. On the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), she is likely to score high on

A) abstraction.
B) emotionality.
C) extroversion.
D) spontaneity.

Question 23

According to Tannen and Glass, which of the following is NOT a characteristic of the communication patterns of girls?

A) Face-to-face interaction
B) Formation of small groups or pairs
C) Highly hierarchical structure
D) Mediation to preserve harmony

Question 24

Which of the following is NOT a characteristic of the communication patterns of boys as described by Tannen and Glass?

A) Attempts to solve conflict through insistence and threat
B) Preference for not looking at each other directly
C) Preference for playing in pairs or small groups
D) Struggles to maintain status within a group

Question 25

Men have a tendency to resist doing what they are told because they do not want to feel dominated, or be in a/an___________ position.

A) "one-down"
B) Oedipal
C) sexist
D) secondary power

Question 26

John Gottman advises couples who are troubled by quarrels to begin to communicate more effectively by first

A) learning to be quiet and listen attentively.
B) learning to speak and listen nondefensively.
C) overlearning quarrelling techniques.
D) validating each other.

Question 27

According to recent research on close relationships, quarreling

A) indicates inequality in the partners' levels of commitment to the relationship.
B) invigorates relationships, and both partners should initiate such interchanges.
C) is a sign of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
D) is inevitable and, if done constructively, can improve relationships.

Question 28

Which of the following is NOT a constructive way of addressing conflicts in relationships?

A) Backing up accusations with evidence
B) Expressing anger freely but without escalating
C) Listening to each other carefully
D) Working toward negotiation and compromise

Question 29

During quarrels, men typically

A) appease.
B) confront.
C) initiate.
D) withdraw.

Question 30

Because women are usually the "emotional managers" in relationships, they are

A) less likely than men to express anger or hurt.
B) less likely than men to pay attention to problems.
C) more likely than men to attempt to avoid conflicts and disagreements.
D) more likely than men to bring up difficult issues.

Question 31

Which of the following strategies for resolving impasses appears to be more effective than the others?

A) Dominating
B) Integrating
C) Obliging
D) Submitting

Question 32

Effective resolution of relational impasses is associated with

A) appealing to logic and reason.
B) having good evidence to back up accusations.
C) referring to an outside authority.
D) shifting to mutuality.

Question 33

In attempting to resolve relational impasses, which of the following might be an effective "I-message"?

A) "I believe you are purposely trying to destroy our marriage."
B) "I feel very frustrated when we try to talk about this."
C) "I feel you are selfish and uncaring."
D) "I feel you have a serious problem when it comes to quarreling constructively."

Question 34

Why are "I-messages" effective in resolving impasses?

A) They are a way of shifting the spotlight onto the self and away from the problem at hand.
B) They convey that a partner is taking personal responsibility for communicating about a problem.
C) They indicate that the partner is both talking and listening.
D) They reflect a partner's willingness to back up statements with logical proof.

Question 35

Which of the following is NOT a factor associated with long-term loving relationships according to John Gottman?

A) An absence of quarrels
B) An absence of strong gender differences in emotional expression
C) Early confrontation of complaints and differences
D) Positive memories about the beginning of a relationship

Question 36

Ruth becomes very aroused when she can initiate sexual activity with her boyfriend. However, she is fearful that this violates a strong societal norm, so she feels controlled and resentful. Ruth's behavior is an example of

A) confusing sex and romantic attachments.
B) modeling her sexuality after external standards.
C) not allowing herself to be vulnerable.
D) remaining at a dread/anger impasse.

Question 37

Before an individual can be vulnerable and deal with hurt, he or she needs to have

A) a high level of sexual knowledge regarding pleasuring techniques.
B) a willingness to depend on another to validate feelings.
C) adequate self-esteem and self-confidence.
D) sufficient sexual experience to impress a partner.

Question 38

Sylvia agrees to have sex with her partner in a position that does not appeal to her. What relational risk applies to this situation?

A) Confusing romantic attachment with sexual attraction
B) Dealing with doing something sexual that does not feel right
C) Having low self-esteem and self-confidence
D) Not allowing oneself to be vulnerable

Question 39

Today, the force that typically brings people together to form and maintain relationships is

A) cultural pressures to reproduce.
B) economic need.
C) social regulations.
D) strong personal connections between individuals.

Question 40

Ed and Merrily have just fallen in love. They feel an intense desire to be close to each other and often promise each other they'll never break up. The stage of love they are in is often called

A) attachment.
B) being in love.
C) infatuation.
D) intimacy.

Question 41

The initial phases of falling in love often result in

A) the loved one begins to seem unique to their partner
B) partners may experience euphoria in the presence of their lovers
C) partners may report thinking obsessively about their loved one when they are absent.
D) all of the above

Question 42

Gottman's research indicates that hostile-detached couples have less stable relationships than

A) volatile couples
B) validating couples
C) conflict-avoiding couples
D) both b and c

Question 43

All of the following statements accurately reflect the research of Gottman and associates EXCEPT

A) conflict-avoiding couples have the least stable relationships.
B) couples with mismatched influence functions may have troubled relationships.
C) the horizontal axis represents a range of verbal and facial expressions.
D) the vertical axis represents the spouse's influence on the partner's behavior.

Question 44

Predictable characteristics associated with the stages of romantic attraction include all of the following EXCEPT

A) greater desire for sexual intimacy than for emotional intimacy.
B) involuntary, even sometimes unwanted, feelings of romantic attraction.
C) obsessive thinking about the loved one.
D) reordering of priorities to spend time together.

Question 45

Michelle's current love relationship has lasted a few weeks. She feels aroused by this partner and really enjoys their sexual relationship. She worries about her heartache if the relationship ends because they have little in common. According to Sternberg's triangular theory of love, the most dominant component of love for Michelle is

A) a balance among all three components
B) commitment.
C) intimacy.
D) passion.

Question 46

Jan and Bob are both married to other people. However, several times a month they meet at a hotel room and engage in intense lovemaking. Afterwards, they typically order a meal to be brought to their room and make arrangements for their next meeting. This relationship appears to be high in

A) commitment.
B) companionship.
C) intimacy.
D) passion.

Question 47

Jason and David have been partners for 25 years. They own a successful business together, jointly own property, have a network of close friends, and have helped raise an orphaned nephew. When David develops a serious heart condition, Jason retires in order to care for David. This relationship appears to be high in

A) attraction.
B) commitment.
C) intimacy.
D) passion.

Question 48

A relationship in which both individuals feel very close to each other, support each other emotionally, and share a great deal would be described by Robert Sternberg as high in

A) attachment.
B) commitment.
C) intimacy.
D) passion.

Question 49

Pheremones are:

A) Endocrine secretions that guide the development of secondary sex characteristics
B) Natural painkillers released by the brain
C) Neurotransmitters that stimulate the hypothalamus and the pituitary gland
D) Chemical sex attractants

Question 50

Ethan is passionately in love with Melissa. He seems ecstatic all the time. A neuroscientist might say,

A) "Ethan is releasing a lot of pheromones."
B) "Ethan's love map resembles that of his relatives."
C) "It looks like Ethan's brain is being stimulated by PEA."
D) "While Ethan's levels of endorphins are dropping, it is clear his oxytocin is skyrocketing."

Question 51

After a year of shared loving activities, Malik and Tawana feel very attached to each other and often experience a sense of tranquility when they are together. This state is associated with the production of

A) endorphins.
B) oxytocin.
C) phenylethylamine.
D) pheromones.

Question 52

A loving couple should pay special attention to touching because

A) sensual touching is an important basis for intimacy.
B) skin senses are very related to hypothalamic activity.
C) the sex flush occurs on the skin.
D) touching is a way to induce sexual arousal.

Question 53

What misconception do many people have about long-term relationships?

A) Individuals expect that intense feelings of love and sexual passion will last.
B) Love ultimately becomes a way of controlling another person.
C) People who create the opportunity for sex don't really love each other.
D) Romantic love is a pure and idealistic love.

Question 54

Relationships that are created and maintained on the Internet

A) are indistinguishable from face-to-face relationships.
B) tend to develop very rapidly and can quickly become eroticized.
C) tend to involve people with few common interests.
D) tend to stagnate, never developing beyond a superficial level.

Question 55

Which of the following is NOT one of the main styles of emotional bonding identified by attachment theory?

A) Avoidant
B) Indifferent
C) Preoccupied
D) Secure

Question 56

Compared with women, men tend to talk _____________________ in public situations and_____________________ in private situations.

Question 57

The triangular theory of love-which focuses on the roles of intimacy, passion, and commitment-was proposed by _____________________.

Question 58

The chemical in male sweat with a dry musky smell that is appealing to women is _____________________.

Question 59

The chemical _____________________ is produced during cuddling.

Question 60

Slang terms applied to female genitals tend to be more vague and negative than those applied to men's genitals.

Question 61

When considering choices related to sexual activity it is important to reach a clear opinion before making a decision.

Question 62

People often use the sexual arena in their struggles for power.

Question 63

In effective communication, careful listening can be more important than self-expression.

Question 64

According to Tannen and Glass, when talking with the same gender, girls are more likely than boys to face each other, look directly at each other, and enjoy talking together.

Question 65

Male socialization causes them to be cautious in social settings about being put in a one-down position.

Question 66

Frequent quarrels in a relationship indicate a relative lack of love and commitment.

Question 67

According to Gottman, to be successful, relationships must be emotionally expressive.

Question 68

One researcher has found that a ratio of five positive behaviors to one negative behavior is associated with relationships that last.

Question 69

There is evidence that prolactin is produced when orgasm occurs, and that it tends to suppress sexual desire for a time.

Question 70

Research indicates that people who have a dismissing avoidant style of attachment experience the greatest difficulty when a relationship breaks up.

Question 71

What kinds of "games"do people sometimes play in their sexual or romantic relationships?

Question 72

What is the problem associated with "all-ness"
statements?

Question 73

In talking about difficult issues, why is asking for clarification important?

Question 74

What are some of the types of communication that men and women tend to approach differently?

Question 75

What is a relational impasse?

Question 76

What approaches to resolving impasses are most effective?

Question 77

What three factors have been identified as critical in establishing sexual intimacy?

Question 78

What are some of the typical reactions immediately after the breakup of a relationship?

Question 79

List five contemporary myths about communication in sexual relationships and explain how believing such myths may interfere with maintaining an intimate relationship.

Question 80

Paul finds watching pornographic films arousing and would like to include their viewing in lovemaking with Kim. Kim finds them repugnant and degrading to her and to all women. What guidelines should they keep in mind as they communicate about this?