Deck 22: Revising for Sentence Variety
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Deck 22: Revising for Sentence Variety
1
Instructions: For each pair of sentences below, select the letter of the option that provides the best sentence variety. Which answer choice provides the best sentence variety?
A) In this studio, Gordy's artists and engineers created the songs with that famous "Motown sound' that we still enjoy today.
B) In this studio, Gordy's artists and engineers created the songs with that famous "Motown sound." We still enjoy these songs today.
A) In this studio, Gordy's artists and engineers created the songs with that famous "Motown sound' that we still enjoy today.
B) In this studio, Gordy's artists and engineers created the songs with that famous "Motown sound." We still enjoy these songs today.
B
2
Instructions: The following sentences form a paragraph. For each pair, select the answer with more sentence variety. Which answer choice has sentence variety?
A) It was the 1980s. The Princeton campus was largely white. Some students assumed things. They assumed that Michelle and her two close friends came to Princeton through affirmative action, not achievement. The three young women had probing discussions. They discussed social barriers and success.
B) On the largely white Princeton campus in the 1980s, some students assumed that Michelle and her two close friends had gotten into Princeton through affirmative action, not achievement. The three young women had probing discussions about social barriers and success.
A) It was the 1980s. The Princeton campus was largely white. Some students assumed things. They assumed that Michelle and her two close friends came to Princeton through affirmative action, not achievement. The three young women had probing discussions. They discussed social barriers and success.
B) On the largely white Princeton campus in the 1980s, some students assumed that Michelle and her two close friends had gotten into Princeton through affirmative action, not achievement. The three young women had probing discussions about social barriers and success.
B
3
Instructions: In each sentence below, select the letter of the correctly punctuated sentence. Which sentence is correctly punctuated?
A) Who has the jumper cables for the car?
B) Many people asked if they could watch the film crew shoot the scene?
C) Janice shouted at the man in front of her!
A) Who has the jumper cables for the car?
B) Many people asked if they could watch the film crew shoot the scene?
C) Janice shouted at the man in front of her!
A
4
Instructions: For each pair of sentences below, select the letter of the option that provides the best sentence variety. Which answer choice provides the best sentence variety?
A) Visitors can also stand in the famous "Studio A," the recording studio in which Motown greats like Gladys Knight, Marvin Gaye, and Smokey Robinson once stood and recorded their hits.
B) Visitors can also stand in the famous "Studio A." This is the recording studio in which Motown greats like Gladys Knight, Marvin Gaye, and Smokey Robinson once stood. They recorded their hits there.
A) Visitors can also stand in the famous "Studio A," the recording studio in which Motown greats like Gladys Knight, Marvin Gaye, and Smokey Robinson once stood and recorded their hits.
B) Visitors can also stand in the famous "Studio A." This is the recording studio in which Motown greats like Gladys Knight, Marvin Gaye, and Smokey Robinson once stood. They recorded their hits there.
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5
Instructions: The following sentences form a paragraph. For each pair, select the answer with more sentence variety. Which answer choice has sentence variety?
A) As Barack's star climbed higher, Michelle successfully balanced the demands of motherhood, work, and intense campaigning. Suddenly, she was traveling the country and the world, meeting everyday people and royalty.
B) Barack's star climbed higher. Michelle successfully balanced the demands of motherhood, work, and intense campaigning. Suddenly, she was traveling the country and the world. She was meeting everyday people and royalty.
A) As Barack's star climbed higher, Michelle successfully balanced the demands of motherhood, work, and intense campaigning. Suddenly, she was traveling the country and the world, meeting everyday people and royalty.
B) Barack's star climbed higher. Michelle successfully balanced the demands of motherhood, work, and intense campaigning. Suddenly, she was traveling the country and the world. She was meeting everyday people and royalty.
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6
Instructions: The following sentences form a paragraph. For each pair, select the answer with more sentence variety. Which answer choice has sentence variety?
A) To many, she represented the stylish, multitasking modern woman. The lessons of a lifetime served her well. On November 4, 2008, Barack and Michelle Obama stepped into history. They became President and First Lady of the United States.
B) To many, she represented the stylish, multitasking modern woman. The lessons of a lifetime served her well. On November 8, 2008, Barack and Michelle Obama stepped into history, as President and First Lady of the United States.
A) To many, she represented the stylish, multitasking modern woman. The lessons of a lifetime served her well. On November 4, 2008, Barack and Michelle Obama stepped into history. They became President and First Lady of the United States.
B) To many, she represented the stylish, multitasking modern woman. The lessons of a lifetime served her well. On November 8, 2008, Barack and Michelle Obama stepped into history, as President and First Lady of the United States.
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7
Instructions: For each pair of sentences below, select the letter of the option that provides the best sentence variety. Which answer choice provides the best sentence variety?
A) He hung a sign out front that read "Hitsville USA." He called his company Motown Records.
B) He hung a sign out front that read "Hitsville USA" and called his company Motown Records.
A) He hung a sign out front that read "Hitsville USA." He called his company Motown Records.
B) He hung a sign out front that read "Hitsville USA" and called his company Motown Records.
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8
Instructions: For each pair of sentences below, select the letter of the option that provides the best sentence variety. Which answer choice provides the best sentence variety?
A) In the 1980s, Berry Gordy's sister decided to pursue a dream of her own. Her name is Esther Gordy Edwards. She opened a Motown Historical Museum in 1988.
B) In the 1980s, Berry Gordy's sister, Esther Gordy Edwards, decided to pursue a dream of her own; she opened a Motown Historical Museum in 1988.
A) In the 1980s, Berry Gordy's sister decided to pursue a dream of her own. Her name is Esther Gordy Edwards. She opened a Motown Historical Museum in 1988.
B) In the 1980s, Berry Gordy's sister, Esther Gordy Edwards, decided to pursue a dream of her own; she opened a Motown Historical Museum in 1988.
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9
Instructions: The following sentences form a paragraph. For each pair, select the answer with more sentence variety. Which answer choice has sentence variety?
A) Michelle majored in sociology, the study of human behavior; her thesis explored race, success, and the black community. With her high grades and a maturing philosophy, Michelle attended Harvard Law School, graduated, and joined a Chicago law firm.
B) Michelle majored in sociology, the study of human social behavior. Her thesis explored race, success, and the black community. Michelle had high grades and a maturing point of view. She attended Harvard Law School. She graduated. She joined a Chicago law firm.
A) Michelle majored in sociology, the study of human behavior; her thesis explored race, success, and the black community. With her high grades and a maturing philosophy, Michelle attended Harvard Law School, graduated, and joined a Chicago law firm.
B) Michelle majored in sociology, the study of human social behavior. Her thesis explored race, success, and the black community. Michelle had high grades and a maturing point of view. She attended Harvard Law School. She graduated. She joined a Chicago law firm.
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10
Instructions: For each pair of sentences below, select the letter of the option that provides the best sentence variety. Which answer choice provides the best sentence variety?
A) For instance, one house served as a recording studio, and another was a business office.
B) One house served as a recording studio. Another was a business office.
A) For instance, one house served as a recording studio, and another was a business office.
B) One house served as a recording studio. Another was a business office.
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11
Instructions: For each pair of sentences below, select the letter of the option that provides the best sentence variety. Which answer choice provides the best sentence variety?
A) The year was 1959. Berry Gordy was a songwriter in Detroit. He purchased a little house at 2648 West Grand Boulevard.
B) The year was 1959. Berry Gordy, a Detroit songwriter, purchased a little house at 2648 West Grand Boulevard.
A) The year was 1959. Berry Gordy was a songwriter in Detroit. He purchased a little house at 2648 West Grand Boulevard.
B) The year was 1959. Berry Gordy, a Detroit songwriter, purchased a little house at 2648 West Grand Boulevard.
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12
Instructions: The following sentences form a paragraph. For each pair, select the answer with more sentence variety. Which answer choice has sentence variety?
A) As a child, Michelle Robinson lived with her doting parents and brother in a one-bedroom apartment on Chicago's South Side. Her father believed in his children's potential and disciplined them with only a look of severe disappointment.
B) As a child, Michelle Robinson lived with her doting parents and brother. They lived in a one-bedroom apartment on Chicago's South Side. Her father believed in his children's potential. He disciplined them with only a look of severe disappointment.
A) As a child, Michelle Robinson lived with her doting parents and brother in a one-bedroom apartment on Chicago's South Side. Her father believed in his children's potential and disciplined them with only a look of severe disappointment.
B) As a child, Michelle Robinson lived with her doting parents and brother. They lived in a one-bedroom apartment on Chicago's South Side. Her father believed in his children's potential. He disciplined them with only a look of severe disappointment.
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13
Instructions: The following sentences form a paragraph. For each pair, select the answer with more sentence variety. Which answer choice has sentence variety?
A) Michelle's brother Craig was a basketball star. He earned As almost effortlessly. She studied hard. She struggled to overcome her discomfort with test-taking. Craig won a scholarship to Princeton University. Michelle decided to apply there as well.
B) Michelle's brother Craig was a basketball star who earned As almost effortlessly whereas she studied hard and struggled to overcome her discomfort with test-taking. After Craig won a scholarship to Princeton University, Michelle decided to apply there as well.
A) Michelle's brother Craig was a basketball star. He earned As almost effortlessly. She studied hard. She struggled to overcome her discomfort with test-taking. Craig won a scholarship to Princeton University. Michelle decided to apply there as well.
B) Michelle's brother Craig was a basketball star who earned As almost effortlessly whereas she studied hard and struggled to overcome her discomfort with test-taking. After Craig won a scholarship to Princeton University, Michelle decided to apply there as well.
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14
Instructions: For each pair of sentences below, select the letter of the option that provides the best sentence variety. Which answer choice provides the best sentence variety?
A) Because Gordy had an uncanny ability to spot talent, he signed many future stars, including the Temptations, the Supremes, the Jackson Five, Diana Ross, and Stevie Wonder.
B) Gordy had an uncanny ability to spot talent. He signed many future stars. These included the Temptations, the Supremes, the Jackson Five, Diana Ross, and Stevie Wonder.
A) Because Gordy had an uncanny ability to spot talent, he signed many future stars, including the Temptations, the Supremes, the Jackson Five, Diana Ross, and Stevie Wonder.
B) Gordy had an uncanny ability to spot talent. He signed many future stars. These included the Temptations, the Supremes, the Jackson Five, Diana Ross, and Stevie Wonder.
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15
Instructions: In each sentence below, select the letter of the correctly punctuated sentence. Which sentence is correctly punctuated?
A) Several of us object to, your lighting that cigar.
B) Stunned by the news, the crowd stood in silence.
C) Raking all the leaves into a neat pile Cynthia admired her work.
A) Several of us object to, your lighting that cigar.
B) Stunned by the news, the crowd stood in silence.
C) Raking all the leaves into a neat pile Cynthia admired her work.
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16
Instructions: For each pair of sentences below, select the letter of the option that provides the best sentence variety. Which answer choice provides the best sentence variety?
A) Gordy gradually bought seven other houses on the street. Each one had a special function.
B) Gordy gradually bought seven other houses on the street, each one with a special function.
A) Gordy gradually bought seven other houses on the street. Each one had a special function.
B) Gordy gradually bought seven other houses on the street, each one with a special function.
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17
Instructions: For each pair of sentences below, select the letter of the option that provides the best sentence variety. Which answer choice provides the best sentence variety?
A) Today thousands of rock 'n' roll fans visit the museum every year.
B) The museum is located in the old house on West Grand in Detroit, and thousands of rock 'n' roll fans visit it every year.
A) Today thousands of rock 'n' roll fans visit the museum every year.
B) The museum is located in the old house on West Grand in Detroit, and thousands of rock 'n' roll fans visit it every year.
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18
Instructions: The following sentences form a paragraph. For each pair, select the answer with more sentence variety. Which answer choice has sentence variety?
A) Her future husband was a dynamic young man. He was named Barack Obama. He interned at her firm. They soon married. They waited several years before having two girls.
B) Her future husband, a dynamic young man named Barack Obama, interned at the firm. They soon married, waiting several years before having two girls.
A) Her future husband was a dynamic young man. He was named Barack Obama. He interned at her firm. They soon married. They waited several years before having two girls.
B) Her future husband, a dynamic young man named Barack Obama, interned at the firm. They soon married, waiting several years before having two girls.
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19
Instructions: In each sentence below, select the letter of the correctly punctuated sentence. Which sentence is correctly punctuated?
A) Beyond the iron gate a well-kept vineyard stretched for miles.
B) Sadly, no one remembers who made this Log Cabin quilt.
C) At the flea market Aden bought many gifts for his family.
A) Beyond the iron gate a well-kept vineyard stretched for miles.
B) Sadly, no one remembers who made this Log Cabin quilt.
C) At the flea market Aden bought many gifts for his family.
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20
Instructions: For each pair of sentences below, select the letter of the option that provides the best sentence variety. Which answer choice provides the best sentence variety?
A) Visitors can see many interesting exhibits. They include collections of rare photographs, sheet music, costumes, and other artifacts from this important musical era.
B) Visitors can see many interesting exhibits, including collections of rare photographs, sheet music, costumes, and other artifacts from this important music era.
A) Visitors can see many interesting exhibits. They include collections of rare photographs, sheet music, costumes, and other artifacts from this important musical era.
B) Visitors can see many interesting exhibits, including collections of rare photographs, sheet music, costumes, and other artifacts from this important music era.
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21
Instructions: Select the letter of the correctly punctuated sentence. Which sentence is correctly punctuated?
A) Carlos, my buddy from college, is now the registrar.
B) Jayla the woman in the next apartment practices drums after midnight.
C) Applicants, who arrive after four o'clock, will have to return tomorrow.
A) Carlos, my buddy from college, is now the registrar.
B) Jayla the woman in the next apartment practices drums after midnight.
C) Applicants, who arrive after four o'clock, will have to return tomorrow.
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22
Instructions: In each sentence below, select the letter of the correctly punctuated sentence. Which sentence is correctly punctuated?
A) Theresa read the lease carefully, before she signed it.
B) Geneva, a woman, of great ambition cannot be trusted.
C) The telephone that had been ringing for twenty minutes finally became silent.
A) Theresa read the lease carefully, before she signed it.
B) Geneva, a woman, of great ambition cannot be trusted.
C) The telephone that had been ringing for twenty minutes finally became silent.
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23
Instructions: Select the letter of the correctly punctuated sentence. Which sentence is correctly punctuated?
A) Before going to class Belen and Daniela reviewed their notes one final time.
B) Driving along the waterfront she saw many elegant homes.
C) Saving $30, he repaired the lawn mower himself.
A) Before going to class Belen and Daniela reviewed their notes one final time.
B) Driving along the waterfront she saw many elegant homes.
C) Saving $30, he repaired the lawn mower himself.
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24
Instructions: In each sentence below, select the letter of the correctly punctuated sentence. Which sentence is correctly punctuated?
A) Undecided about which of the prints he liked best, Chen bought all four of them.
B) Sleeping on an airplane, is sometimes difficult.
C) Sylvie always finishes the ice cream, and puts the empty container in the freezer.
A) Undecided about which of the prints he liked best, Chen bought all four of them.
B) Sleeping on an airplane, is sometimes difficult.
C) Sylvie always finishes the ice cream, and puts the empty container in the freezer.
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25
Instructions: Select the letter of the correctly punctuated sentence. Which sentence is correctly punctuated?
A) Coloring with her crayons, Amy's daughter was quite well-behaved throughout her mother's history final.
B) We synchronized our watches, and left.
C) Faced with constant shortages of oil the nation looks for alternative fuels.
A) Coloring with her crayons, Amy's daughter was quite well-behaved throughout her mother's history final.
B) We synchronized our watches, and left.
C) Faced with constant shortages of oil the nation looks for alternative fuels.
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26
Instructions: Select the letter of the correctly punctuated sentence. Which sentence is correctly punctuated?
A) During the concert Darius disappeared without saying good-bye.
B) From the park bench, the young mother watched the children.
C) Amazed at her good luck Joan cashed the check.
A) During the concert Darius disappeared without saying good-bye.
B) From the park bench, the young mother watched the children.
C) Amazed at her good luck Joan cashed the check.
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27
Instructions: Select the letter of the correctly punctuated sentence. Which sentence is correctly punctuated?
A) Reluctantly, Jefferson admitted his error.
B) Under the canopy our company set up its booth.
C) Cautiously she entered the warehouse.
A) Reluctantly, Jefferson admitted his error.
B) Under the canopy our company set up its booth.
C) Cautiously she entered the warehouse.
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