Exploring Writing 2nd Edition by John Langan

Exercise 47

The following paragraphs were written on the same topic, and each has a clear opening point. Which one is adequately developed Which one has few particulars and uses mostly vague, general, wordy sentences to conceal the fact that it is starved for specific details
Paragraph A
Abuse of Public Parks
Some people abuse public parks. Instead of using the park for recreation, they go there, for instance, to clean their cars. Park caretakers regularly have to pick up the contents of dumped ashtrays and car litter bags. Certain juveniles visit parks with cans of spray paint to deface buildings, fences, fountains, and statues. Other offenders are those who dig up and cart away park flowers, shrubs, and trees. One couple were even arrested for stealing park sod, which they were using to fill in their lawn. Perhaps the most widespread offenders are the people who use park tables and benches and fireplaces but do not clean up afterward. Picnic tables are littered with trash, including crumpled bags, paper plates smeared with ketchup, and paper cups half-filled with stale soda. On the ground are empty beer bottles, dented soda cans, and sharp metal bottle caps. Parks are made for people, and yet-ironically-their worst enemy is "people pollution."
Paragraph B
Mistreatment of Public Parks
Some people mistreat public parks. Their behavior is evident in many ways, and the catalog of abuses could go on almost without stopping. Different kinds of debris are left by people who have used the park as a place for attending to their cars. They are not the only individuals who mistreat public parks, which should be used with respect for the common good of all. Many young people come to the park and abuse it, and their offenses can occur in any season of the year. The reason for their inconsiderate behavior is known only to themselves. Other visitors lack personal cleanliness in their personal habits when they come to the park, and the park suffers because of it. Such people seem to have the attitude that someone else should clean up after them. It is an undeniable fact that people are the most dangerous thing that parks must contend with.
Complete the following statement: Paragraph provides an adequate number of specific details to support its point.
Reflective Activity
To check your understanding of the chapter so far, see if you can answer the following questions.
1. It has been observed: "To write well, the first thing you must do is decide what nail you want to drive home." What is meant by nail
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2. How do you "drive home the nail" in the paragraph
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3. What are the two reasons for using specific details in your writing
a. ____________________________________________________________________
b. ____________________________________________________________________
4. Look back at the paragraph you wrote on page 34 about an everyday annoyance. How could you further "drive home the nail" In other words, what could you do to improve that paragraph