Essentials of Business Communication 8th Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey

Exercise 38

The following letter has errors in grammar, punctuation, conversational language, outdated expressions, sexist language, concise wording, long lead-ins, and other problems. You may either (a) use standard proofreading marks (see Appendix B) to correct the errors here or (b) download the document from your companion Web site and revise at your computer. Study the guidelines in the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook to sharpen your skills.
FIRST FINANCIAL SERVICES
3410 Willow Grove Boulevard
Philadelphia, PA 19137
215.593.4400
www.firstfinancial.com
June 9, 200x
Ms. Bonnie Jeffers
First Trust Guaranty, Inc.
1359 North Grand Avenue
Walnut, CA 91790
Dear Ms. Jeffer:
We are in appreciation of the fact that you have shown patience with us during the time of cur merger with Capital One.
Pursuant to our telephone conversation this morning, this is to advise that two (2) agent's packages will be delivered to you next week. Due to the fact that new forms had to be printed; we do not have them immediately available.
Although we cannot offer a 50/50 commission split, we are able to offer new agents a 60/40 commission split. There are two new agreement forms that show this commission ratio. When you get ready to sign up a new agent have her fill in these up to date forms.
When you send me an executed agency agreement please make every effort to tell me what agency package was assigned to the agent. On the last form that you sent you overlooked this information. We need this information to distribute commissions in an expeditious manner.
If you have any questions, don't hesitate to call on me.
Yours very sincerely,
Brian Simpson
Senior Sales Manager