
Essentials of Business Communication 8th Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey
Edition 8ISBN: 978-0324588002
Essentials of Business Communication 8th Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey
Edition 8ISBN: 978-0324588002 Exercise 30
Request E-Mail: Planning a Charity Golf Event
The following e-mail from Seth Jackson requests information about planning a charity golf tournament. His first draft must be revised.
Your Task. Analyze the message. List its weaknesses and then outline an appropriate writing plan. If your instructor directs, revise the message. A copy of this message is provided at www.meguftey.com if you want to revise it online. Could this message benefit from category headings?
Date: February 1, 200x
To: Kaitlin Merek
From: Seth Jackson
Subject: Need Help!
The Children's Resource Center badly needs funds. We have tried other things, but now we want to try a charity golf event. In view of the fact that you have expertise in this area and since you volunteered to offer your assistance, I am writing this e-mail to pick your brain, so to speak, in regard to questions that have to do with five basic fundamentals in the process of preparation. I'm going to need your answers these areas before February 15. Is that possible? Maybe you would rather talk to me. Should I contact you?
In regard to the budget, I have no idea how to estimate costs. For example, what about administrative costs, How about marketing? And there are salaries, cell-phone rentals, copiers, and a lot of other things.
I also need help in choosing a golf course. Should it be a public course? Or a private course? Resort? One big area that I worry about is sponsors. Should I go after one big sponsor? But let's say I get Pepsi to be a sponsor. Then do I have to ban Coke totally from the scene?
Another big headache is scoring. I will bet you can make some suggestions for tabulating the golf results. And posting them. By the way, did you see that Tiger Woods is back in the winner's circle?
I have noticed that other golf tournaments have extra events, such as a pairing party to introduce partners. Many also have an awards dinner to award prizes. Should I be planning extra events?
Seth Jackson
Philanthropy and Gifts Coordinator
Children's Resource Center
1. List at least five weaknesses of this request e-mail.
2. Outline a writing plan for this message.
Subject line:
Opening:
Body:
Closing:
The following e-mail from Seth Jackson requests information about planning a charity golf tournament. His first draft must be revised.
Your Task. Analyze the message. List its weaknesses and then outline an appropriate writing plan. If your instructor directs, revise the message. A copy of this message is provided at www.meguftey.com if you want to revise it online. Could this message benefit from category headings?
Date: February 1, 200x
To: Kaitlin Merek
From: Seth Jackson
Subject: Need Help!
The Children's Resource Center badly needs funds. We have tried other things, but now we want to try a charity golf event. In view of the fact that you have expertise in this area and since you volunteered to offer your assistance, I am writing this e-mail to pick your brain, so to speak, in regard to questions that have to do with five basic fundamentals in the process of preparation. I'm going to need your answers these areas before February 15. Is that possible? Maybe you would rather talk to me. Should I contact you?
In regard to the budget, I have no idea how to estimate costs. For example, what about administrative costs, How about marketing? And there are salaries, cell-phone rentals, copiers, and a lot of other things.
I also need help in choosing a golf course. Should it be a public course? Or a private course? Resort? One big area that I worry about is sponsors. Should I go after one big sponsor? But let's say I get Pepsi to be a sponsor. Then do I have to ban Coke totally from the scene?
Another big headache is scoring. I will bet you can make some suggestions for tabulating the golf results. And posting them. By the way, did you see that Tiger Woods is back in the winner's circle?
I have noticed that other golf tournaments have extra events, such as a pairing party to introduce partners. Many also have an awards dinner to award prizes. Should I be planning extra events?
Seth Jackson
Philanthropy and Gifts Coordinator
Children's Resource Center
1. List at least five weaknesses of this request e-mail.
2. Outline a writing plan for this message.
Subject line:
Opening:
Body:
Closing:
Explanation
The five weaknesses of this message are ...
Essentials of Business Communication 8th Edition by Mary Ellen Guffey
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