College Writing Skills with Readings 8th Edition by John Langan

Exercise 4

Both of the essays below lack supporting details at certain key points. In each essay, identify the spots where details are needed.
Formula for Happiness
1 Everyone has his or her own formula for happiness. 2 As we go through life, we discover the activities that make us feel best. 3 I've already discovered three keys to happiness. 4 I depend on karate, music, and self-hypnosis.
5 Karate helps me feel good physically. 6 Before taking karate lessons, I was tired most of the time, my muscles felt like foam rubber, and I was twenty pounds overweight. 7 After three months of these lessons, I saw an improvement in my physical condition. 8 Also, my endurance has increased. 9 At the end of my workday, I used to drag myself home to eat and watch television all night. 10 Now, I have enough energy to play with my children, shop, or see a movie. 11 Karate has made me feel healthy, strong, and happy.
The spot where supporting details are needed occurs after sentence ________.
12 Singing with a chorus has helped me achieve emotional well-being by expressing my feelings. 13 In situations where other people would reveal their feelings, I would remain quiet. 14 Since joining the chorus, however, I have an outlet for joy, anger, or sadness. 15 When I sing, I pour my emotions into the music and don't have to feel shy. 16 For this reason, I most enjoy singing certain kinds of music, since they demand real depth of feeling.
The first spot where supporting details are needed occurs after sentence ________.
The second spot occurs after sentence ________.
17 Self-hypnosis gives me peace of mind. 18 This is a total relaxation technique, which I learned several years ago. 19 Essentially I breathe deeply and concentrate on relaxing all my muscles. 20 I then repeat a key suggestion to myself. 21 Through self-hypnosis, I have gained control over several bad habits that have long been haunting me. 22 I have also learned to reduce the stress that goes along with my secretarial job. 23 Now I can handle the boss's demands or unexpected work without feeling tense.
The first spot where supporting details are needed occurs after sentence ________.
The second spot occurs after sentence ________.
24 In short, my physical, emotional, and mental well-being have been greatly increased through karate, music, and self-hypnosis. 25 These activities have become important elements in my formula for happiness.
Problems of a Foreign Student
1 About ten months ago I decided to leave my native country and come to the United States to study. 2 When I got here, I suddenly turned into someone labeled "foreign student." 3 A foreign student, I discovered, has problems. 4 Whether from Japan, like me, or from some other country, a foreign student has to work twice as hard as Americans do to succeed in college.
5 First of all, there is the language problem. 6 American students have the advantage of comprehending English without working at it. 7 But even they complain that some professors talk too fast, mumble, or use big words. 8 As a result, they can't take notes fast enough to keep up, or they misunderstand what was said. 9 Now consider my situation. 10 I'm trying to cope with a language that is probably one of the hardest in the world to learn. 11 Dozens of English slang phrases "mess around," "hassle," "get into"-were totally new to me. 12 Other language problems gave me trouble, too.
The spot where supporting details are needed occurs after sentence ________.
13 Another problem I face has to do with being a stranger to American culture. 14 For instance, the academic world is much different in Japan. 15 In the United States, instructors seem to treat students as equals. 16 Many classes are informal, and the relationship between instructor and student is friendly; in fact, students call some instructors by their first names. 17 In Japan, however, the instructor-student relationship is different. 18 Lectures, too, are more formal, and students show respect by listening quietly and paying attention at all times. 19 This more casual atmosphere occasionally makes me feel uncomfortable in class.
The spot where supporting details are needed occurs after sentence ________.
20 Perhaps the most difficult problem I face is social. 21 American students may have some trouble making new friends or may feel lonely at times. 22 However, they usually manage to find other people with the same background, interests, or goals. 23 It is twice as hard to make friends, though, if a person has trouble making the small talk that can lead to a relationship. 24 I find it difficult to become friends with other students because I don't understand some aspects of American life. 25 Students would rather talk to someone who is familiar with these things.
The spot where supporting details are needed occurs after sentence ________.
26 Despite all the challenges that I, as a foreign student, have to overcome, I wouldn't give up this chance to go to school in the United States. 27 Each day, the problems seem a little bit less overwhelming. 28 Like a little child who is finally learning to read, write, and make sense of things, I am starting to enjoy my experience of discovering a brand-new world.