Business and Administrative Communication 10th Edition by Kitty Locker,Donna Kienzler

Exercise 28

Li, an intern at All-Weather, a window manufacturer, has been asked to write a letter to a recent young customer asking him if some new engineers can tour his gallery to see the products in use. Here is his draft:


Li was trying for a breezy tone that he thought appropriate for a young art gallery owner but obviously went overboard.
Based on your reading of Chapter 3, complete the following tasks:
List problems in Li's draft.
Prepare another list of changes that would improve the draft. Be specific in your suggestions. For instance, it's insufficient to say "more you-attitude" or "more politeness." Point to places in the draft where these strategies might be useful. Also, rephrase relevant sentences or paragraphs for more you-attitude or more politeness, whichever is the case.
What is the primary purpose of the letter The secondary purpose
Revise the draft.