Human Relations in Organizations: Applications and Skill Building 8th Edition by Robert Lussier

Exercise 10

This may not be an easy exercise for you, but it could result in improving your self- concept, which has a major impact on your success in life. Below, follow the three-step plan for building a positive self-concept.
You may be asked to share your plan with a person of your choice in class. Your instructor should tell you if you will be asked to share during class. If you will share during class, do not include anything you do not wish to share. Write in the space provided, using additional pages if needed. Write a separate personal plan for yourself if you do not want to share it.
Step 1. Identify your strengths and areas for improvement.
What do I like about myself?
What can I do well? (Reflect on some of your accomplishments.)
What skills and abilities do I have to offer people and organizations?
What are the things about myself or behaviors that could be improved to help me build a more positive self-concept?
Step 2. Set goals and visualize them.
Based on your area(s) for improvement, write down some goals in a positive, affirmative format. Three to five goals are recommended as a start. Once you achieve them, go on to others.
For example:
1. I am positive and successful (not: I need to stop thinking/worrying about failure).
2. I enjoy listening to others (not: I need to stop dominating the conversation).
Visualize yourself achieving your goals. For example, imagine yourself succeeding without worrying, or visualize having a conversation you know you will have, without dominating it.
Optional. If you have a negative attitude toward yourself or others-or you would like to improve your behavior with others (family, coworkers), things, or issues (disliking school or work)-try following the internationally known motivational speaker and trainer Zig Ziglar's system. Thousands of people have used this system successfully. This system can be used for changing personality traits as well.
Here are the steps to follow, with an example plan for a person who has a negative self-concept and also wants to be more sensitive to others. Use this example as a guide for developing your own plan.
1. Self-concept. Write down everything you like about yourself. List all your strengths. Then go on and list all your weaknesses. Get a good friend to help you.
2. Make a clean new list, and using positive affirmations, write all your strengths. Example: "I am sensitive to others' needs."
3. On another sheet of paper, again using positive affirmations, list all your weaknesses. For example, don't write, "I need to lose weight." Write, "I am a slim (whatever you realistically can weigh in 30 days) pounds." Don't write, "I have to stop criticizing myself." Write, "I positively praise myself often every day." Write, "I have good communications skills," not "I am a weak communicator." The following list gives example affirmations for improving sensitivity to others. Note the repetition; you can use a thesaurus to help.
I am sensitive to others.
My behavior with others conveys my warmth for them.
I convey my concern for others.
My behavior conveys kindness toward others.
My behavior helps others build their self-esteem.
People find me easy to talk to.
I give others my full attention.
I patiently listen to others talk.
I answer others in a polite manner.
I answer questions and make comments with useful information.
My comments to others help them feel good about themselves.
I compliment others regularly.
4. Practice. Every morning and night for at least the next 30 days, look at yourself in the mirror and read your list of positive affirmations. Be sure to look at yourself between each affirmation as you read. Or record the list on a tape recorder and listen to it while looking at yourself in the mirror. If you are really motivated, you can repeat this step at other times of the day. Start with your areas for improvement. If it takes five minutes or more, don't bother with the list of your strengths. Or stop at five minutes; this exercise is effective in short sessions. Although miracles won't happen overnight, you may become more aware of your behavior in the first week. In the second or third week, you may become aware of yourself using new behavior successfully. You may still see some negatives, but the number will decrease in time as the positive increases.
Psychological research has shown that if a person hears something believable repeated for 30 days, they will tend to believe it. Ziglar says that you cannot consistently perform in a manner that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself. So, as you listen to your positive affirmations, you will believe them, and you will behave in a manner that is consistent with your belief. Put simply, your behavior will change with your thoughts without a lot of hard work. For example, if you listen to the affirmation, "I am an honest person" (not, "I have to stop lying"), in time-without having to work at it-you will tell the truth. At first you may feel uncomfortable reading or listening to positive affirmations that you don't really believe you have. But keep looking at yourself in the mirror and reading or listening, and with time you will feel comfortable and believe it and live it.
Are you thinking you don't need to improve, or that this method will not work? Yes, this system often does work. Zig Ziglar has trained thousands of satisfied people. I tried the system myself, and within two or three weeks, I could see improvement in my behavior. The question isn't, Will the system work for you? but rather, Will you work the system to improve?
5. When you slip, and we all do, don't get down on yourself. In the sensitivity-toothers example, if you are rude to someone and catch yourself, apologize and change to a positive tone. Effective leaders admit when they are wrong and apologize. If you have a hard time admitting you are wrong and saying you are sorry, at least be obviously nice so that the other person realizes you are saying you are sorry indirectly. Then forget about it and keep trying. Focus on your successes, not your slips. Don't let 10 good discussions be ruined by one insensitive comment. If you were a baseball player and got 9 out of 10 hits, you'd be the best in the world.
6. Set another goal. After 30 days, select a new topic, such as developing a positive attitude toward work or school, or trying a specific leadership style that you want to develop. You can also include more than one area to work on.
Step 3. Develop a plan and implement it.
For each of your goals, state what you will do to achieve it. What specific action will you take to improve your self-concept through changing your thoughts or behavior? Number your plans to correspond with your goals.
Objective: To build a more positive self-concept.
AACSB: The primary AACSB learning standard skills developed through this exercise are reflective thinking and self-management and analytic skills.
Preparation: You should have completed the three-step action plan for building a positive self-concept on the preceding pages.
Experience: In groups of two, you will share your plan to build a more positive self-concept.
Break into teams of two. You may make a group of three if you prefer. Try to work with someone with whom you feel comfortable sharing your plan.
Using your preparation plan, share your answers one at a time. It is recommended that you both share on each step and question before proceeding to the next. The choice is yours, but be sure you get equal time. For example, one person states, "what I like about myself." The other person follows with his or her response. After both share, go on to cover "what I do well," and so on. During your sharing, you may offer each other helpful suggestions, but do so in a positive way; remember you are helping one another build a more positive self-concept. Avoid saying anything that could be considered a put-down.
Conclusion: The instructor may lead a class discussion and/or make concluding remarks.
Application (2-4 minutes): Will I implement my plan? If so, will I succeed at developing a more positive self-concept? What have I learned through this experience?