Deck 6: Love

Question 1

A common barrier to loving and being loved is:

A) lack of self-love.
B) allowing yourself to be vulnerable.
C) having responsibility toward the person you love.
D) letting go of fear.

Answer 1

A

Question 2

The following is a misconception about love:

A) In most intense, long-term relationships there are times when the alliance is characterized by deadness, frustration, strife, or conflict.
B) When we love someone, we do not need to have other relationships.
C) One of the signs of genuine love is that it is expansive rather than exclusive.
D) Despite our need for love we often put barriers in the way of our attempts to give and receive love.

Answer 2

B

Question 3

All of the following are some key tasks of successful relationships, EXCEPT :

A) build friendship and intimacy.
B) not to honor your partner's dreams.
C) learn to manage conflict effectively.
D) create shared meaning.

Answer 3

B

Question 4

Many people try to present themselves to others in a favorable manner, and in doing so, put on "masks," metaphorically speaking. If others love us with our "mask," we will likely conclude:

A) that they will love what is underneath the mask.
B) that they really don't love the person behind the mask.
C) that we can trust their love.
D) that they have really good taste.

Question 5

In regard to love and anger,

A) denied or unexpressed anger can lead to the death of a relationship.
B) anger needs to be dealt with in a constructive way before it reaches explosive proportions.
C) love and anger can be compartmentalized; for when you deny your anger, you are nurturing your relationship.
D) they are incompatible.

Question 6

An "impaired giver" is a person who:

A) has a high need to take care of others, yet little tolerance in accepting what others want to give to them.
B) creates a relationship in which the receiver has a feeling of security.
C) expresses love unselfishly while being aware of meeting his or her own needs.
D) lives up to the fact that love is selfless.

Question 7

An indirect way of getting clients to express self-appreciation when they are not accustomed to doing so is to:

A) have them write a balance sheet stating both their negative and positive points.
B) ask how their best friend would describe them.
C) confront their reluctance.
D) have them describe their "ideal self."

Question 8

In The Art of Loving , Erich Fromm describes the condition of self-love within a relationship as:

A) having respect for our own integrity and uniqueness.
B) becoming selfless, losing ourselves in the one we love.
C) looking for love in order to feel love for ourselves.
D) having a 50/50 relationship.

Question 9

Rose is angry at her spouse because he refuses to take a vacation. She is so angry that she is shunning him, refusing to talk to him and ignoring his requests to discuss the matter. Rose's tactics are:

A) a cry for help, since their relationship is deteriorating.
B) her way of getting separateness within the relationship so her identity can be maintained and preserved.
C) deliberate and aimed at controlling her spouse.
D) an expression of her need to be loved.

Question 10

Felice Leonardo Buscaglia criticizes the phrase to "fall in love" and contends that it's more accurate to say that:

A) we grow in love, which implies choice and effort.
B) we must have constant closeness in order to nourish our relationship.
C) we need to passively wait for the right person to come along and sweep us off our feet.
D) when love strikes, it is so powerful that it renders people helpless and unable to control what they do.

Question 11

The following is a rebuttal to the myth of eternal love:

A) When the relationship fades, this is a sure sign that love never really existed.
B) The notion that love will endure forever without any change is realistic.
C) While love can last over a period of time, it is to be expected that it will take on different forms as the relationship matures.
D) With genuine love, you and your partner will never outgrow the love you share.

Question 12

The four negative communication patterns include all of the following EXCEPT :

A) criticism.
B) contempt.
C) defensiveness.
D) connectedness.

Question 13

All of the following are "myths and misconceptions about love," EXCEPT for the assertion that:

A) love implies constant closeness.
B) we fall in and out of love.
C) love is an active choice.
D) love is exclusive.

Question 14

A __________ life is often lived in isolation and alienation.

A) self-love
B) loveless
C) loving
D) trusting

Question 15

Frankl noted that in the Nazi concentration camp where he was imprisoned, some prisoners who survived while others perished:

A) kept alive the images of those they loved and retained some measure of hope.
B) lost memories of love and didn't have to feel the pain of longing.
C) identified with their captors and loved their fellow prisoners.
D) were able to transcend their situation by praying for their captors.

Question 16

__________ is when we make the very thing we fear come true by being unavailable to others in any kind of loving way.

A) Risk of loss
B) Self-fulfilling prophecy
C) Free choice
D) Commitment

Question 17

Neurobiology researchers are interested in the link between:

A) love and anger.
B) divorce and separation.
C) love and hate.
D) love and attachment.

Question 18

In a hospice care study, dying patients were asked about the most important aspects of their lives. They found 100% of the stories exploded with:

A) suffering.
B) pain.
C) regret.
D) love.

Question 19

Self-love is not ________________; rather, self-love means accepting and respecting ourselves even though we are imperfect.

A) narcissistic
B) psychotic
C) neurotic
D) high self-esteem

Question 20

As a child, Ann got the message that she needed to be successful in order to be loved. She has a barrier to love which is rooted in the assumption that receiving love from others is based on:

A) putting her own needs before others.
B) a single characteristic of her personality.
C) a need for recognition.
D) a belief in her ability to achieve.

Question 21

Mary is asking the question "Sure, I need to love and to be loved, but is it really worth it?" When struggling with this question, her first task is to decide:

A) whether she prefers isolation to intimacy.
B) if she is lovable or not.
C) if she is capable of having a healthy relationship.
D) what qualities she would like her partner to have.

Question 22

All of the following are signs of authentic love EXCEPT :

A) having respect for the dignity of the person who is loved.
B) being vulnerable in the relationship.
C) growth for both ourselves and the person we love.
D) being focused on changing others so they will conform to our expectations of how they should be.

Question 23

Self-love is

A) egotistic.
B) an impediment to loving others.
C) essential, since we are not able to love others unless we love and appreciate ourselves.
D) a characteristic of inauthentic love.

Question 24

Jeff is in a relationship in which he has unrealistic expectations of how his girlfriend must act in order to be worthy of his love. He is unwilling to share his thoughts and feelings when she tries to discuss the situation with him. Jeff is most likely to be a person whose love is:

A) inauthentic.
B) romantic.
C) controlling.
D) authentic.

Question 25

Love is a __________ experience that undergoes transformation.

A) simple
B) selflessness
C) complex
D) tolerant

Question 26

If I am overly dependent on my relationship for meaning and survival, then I am

A) free to challenge the relationship.
B) able to challenge and confront when I feel unhappy with what is going on within the relationship.
C) not free to challenge our relationship.
D) likely to encourage personal growth on an equal basis for both myself and the person I love.

Question 27

A person whose love is inauthentic:

A) does not need to be in charge or make decisions for the other person.
B) perceives personal change as a threat to the continuation of the relationship.
C) is unlikely to be dishonest in the relationship.
D) has responsibility toward the person loved.

Question 28

__________ is a vital ingredient in a relationship, and jealousy indicates a lack of it-in oneself or one's partner

A) Commitment
B) Passion
C) Intimacy
D) Trust

Question 29

Love means making a commitment to the person I love, which

A) entails surrendering our total selves to each other.
B) implies that the relationship is permanent.
C) entails a willingness to stay with each other in times of pain, uncertainty, struggle, and despair, as well as in times of calm and enjoyment.
D) implies we cannot commit to other things in life.

Question 30

A seminal work on romantic love as an attachment process posited that adults, like infants, can be categorized as any of the following EXCEPT :

A) secure.
B) avoidant.
C) permissive.
D) anxious-ambivalent.