Jack and Jill Went Up the Hill to Fetch a Pail

Essay

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack pushed Jill down, she broke her arm, and Jack stole the water. Jill called the police on her wet cell phone and signed a complaint against Jack, who the police subsequently arrested. Jack said he didn't know what he was doing because he fell down once before and suffered from reoccurring brain trauma. Is there a crime? What is it? Is there any defense? What could it be, and where will it likely be reported?