Olivia Works in the Main Office at a Public Elementary

Essay

Olivia works in the main office at a public elementary school. School began last Wednesday, and by the following Tuesday morning kindergarten teachers were experiencing a difficult situation. Many of the students' parents were lingering in the classroom past the start of the school day, consequently making the emotional transition harder for their children. They are also crowding the limited physical space within the classrooms and doorways. Olivia is asked to draft a notice to be distributed to the kindergarteners' parents to try to rectify this problem.
-A simple enough task, she thinks, and she writes the notice as mentioned below. Discuss her draft and explain how you might improve it.
"Attention kindergarten parents: do not remain in your children's classrooms for too long, as this is causing problems."