Exam 4: Building Relationships by Communicating Supportively

According to the textbook authors,what is the most important skill for building and strengthening positive relationships?

What are two major problems that result when principles of supportive communication are not followed while coaching or counseling subordinates?

What should you do when practicing congruent communication?

When the speaker's message is clear,but the listener needs more information to understand it,which probe is best?

Much of the literature on communication focuses on the accuracy of information being communicated.

Find Somebody Else Ron Davis, the relatively new general manager of the machine tooling group at Parker Manufacturing, was visiting one of the plants. He scheduled a meeting with Mike Leonard, a plant manager who reported to him. RON: Mike, I've scheduled this meeting with you because I've been reviewing performance data and I wanted to give you some feedback. I know we haven't talked face-to-face before, but I think it's time we review how you're doing. I'm afraid that some of things I have to say are not very favorable. MIKE: Well, since you're the new boss, I guess I'll have to listen. I've had meetings like this before with new people who come in my plant and think they know what's going on. RON: Look, Mike, I want this to be a two-way interchange. I'm not here to read a verdict to you, and I'm not here to tell you how to do your job. There are just some areas for improvement I want to review. MIKE: Okay, sure, I've heard that before. But you called the meeting. Go ahead and lower the boom. RON: Well, Mike, I don't think this is lowering the boom. But there are several things you need to hear. One is what I noticed during the plant tour. I think you're too chummy with some of your female personnel. You know, one of them might take offense and level a sexual harassment suit against you. MIKE: Oh, come on. You haven't been around this plant before, and you don't know the informal, friendly relationships we have. The office staff and the women on the floor are flattered by a little attention now and then. RON: That may be so, but you need to be more careful. You may not be sensitive to what's really going on with them. But that raises another thing I noticed the appearance of your shop. You know how important it is in Parker to have a neat and clean shop. As I walked through this morning, I noticed that it wasn't as orderly and neat as I would like to see it. Having things in disarray reflects poorly on you, Mike. MIKE: I'll stack my plant up against any in Parker for neatness. You may have seen a few tools out of place because someone was just using them, but we take a lot of pride in our neatness. I don't see how you can say that things are in disarray. You've got no experience around here, so who are you to judge? RON: Well, I'm glad you're sensitive to the neatness issue. I just think you need to pay attention to it, that's all. But regarding neatness, I notice that you don't dress like a plant manager. I think you're creating a substandard impression by not wearing a tie, for example. Casualness in dress can be used as an excuse for workers to come to work in really grubby attire. That may not be safe. MIKE: Look, I don't agree with making a big separation between the managers and the employees. By dressing like people out on the shop floor, I think we eliminate a lot of barriers. Besides, I don't have the money to buy clothes that might get oil on them every day. That seems pretty picky to me. RON: I don't want to seem picky, Mike. But I do feel strongly about the issues I've mentioned. There are some other things, though, that need to get corrected. One is the appearance of the reports you send into division headquarters. There are often mistakes, misspellings, and, I suspect, some wrong numbers. I wonder if you are paying attention to these reports. You seem to be reviewing them superficially. MIKE: If there is one thing we have too much of, it's reports. I could spend three-quarters of my time filling out report forms and generating data for some bean counter in headquarters. We have reports coming out our ears. Why don't you give us a chance to get our work done and eliminate all this paperwork? RON: You know as well as I do, Mike, that we need to carefully monitor our productivity, quality, and costs. You just need to get more serious about taking care of that part of your responsibility. MIKE: Okay. I'm not going to fight about that. It's a losing battle for me. No one at headquarters will ever decrease their demand for reports. But, listen, Ron, I also have one question for you. RON: Okay. What's that? MIKE: Why don't you go find somebody else to pick on? Note to Instructors: The following essay questions relate to the above case. You may choose to use all of the following questions, or some subset of them. To ensure that you have all relevant information regardless of which questions you use, we have provided a general explanation of the case for each question. The redundancy in the explanations is built in intentionally. In most cases, there are multiple reasonable responses to these essay questions. Instructors should evaluate the quality of the reasoning the student employ to support their arguments. -What principles of supportive communication and supportive listening are violated in this case?

Find Somebody Else Ron Davis, the relatively new general manager of the machine tooling group at Parker Manufacturing, was visiting one of the plants. He scheduled a meeting with Mike Leonard, a plant manager who reported to him. RON: Mike, I've scheduled this meeting with you because I've been reviewing performance data and I wanted to give you some feedback. I know we haven't talked face-to-face before, but I think it's time we review how you're doing. I'm afraid that some of things I have to say are not very favorable. MIKE: Well, since you're the new boss, I guess I'll have to listen. I've had meetings like this before with new people who come in my plant and think they know what's going on. RON: Look, Mike, I want this to be a two-way interchange. I'm not here to read a verdict to you, and I'm not here to tell you how to do your job. There are just some areas for improvement I want to review. MIKE: Okay, sure, I've heard that before. But you called the meeting. Go ahead and lower the boom. RON: Well, Mike, I don't think this is lowering the boom. But there are several things you need to hear. One is what I noticed during the plant tour. I think you're too chummy with some of your female personnel. You know, one of them might take offense and level a sexual harassment suit against you. MIKE: Oh, come on. You haven't been around this plant before, and you don't know the informal, friendly relationships we have. The office staff and the women on the floor are flattered by a little attention now and then. RON: That may be so, but you need to be more careful. You may not be sensitive to what's really going on with them. But that raises another thing I noticed the appearance of your shop. You know how important it is in Parker to have a neat and clean shop. As I walked through this morning, I noticed that it wasn't as orderly and neat as I would like to see it. Having things in disarray reflects poorly on you, Mike. MIKE: I'll stack my plant up against any in Parker for neatness. You may have seen a few tools out of place because someone was just using them, but we take a lot of pride in our neatness. I don't see how you can say that things are in disarray. You've got no experience around here, so who are you to judge? RON: Well, I'm glad you're sensitive to the neatness issue. I just think you need to pay attention to it, that's all. But regarding neatness, I notice that you don't dress like a plant manager. I think you're creating a substandard impression by not wearing a tie, for example. Casualness in dress can be used as an excuse for workers to come to work in really grubby attire. That may not be safe. MIKE: Look, I don't agree with making a big separation between the managers and the employees. By dressing like people out on the shop floor, I think we eliminate a lot of barriers. Besides, I don't have the money to buy clothes that might get oil on them every day. That seems pretty picky to me. RON: I don't want to seem picky, Mike. But I do feel strongly about the issues I've mentioned. There are some other things, though, that need to get corrected. One is the appearance of the reports you send into division headquarters. There are often mistakes, misspellings, and, I suspect, some wrong numbers. I wonder if you are paying attention to these reports. You seem to be reviewing them superficially. MIKE: If there is one thing we have too much of, it's reports. I could spend three-quarters of my time filling out report forms and generating data for some bean counter in headquarters. We have reports coming out our ears. Why don't you give us a chance to get our work done and eliminate all this paperwork? RON: You know as well as I do, Mike, that we need to carefully monitor our productivity, quality, and costs. You just need to get more serious about taking care of that part of your responsibility. MIKE: Okay. I'm not going to fight about that. It's a losing battle for me. No one at headquarters will ever decrease their demand for reports. But, listen, Ron, I also have one question for you. RON: Okay. What's that? MIKE: Why don't you go find somebody else to pick on? Note to Instructors: The following essay questions relate to the above case. You may choose to use all of the following questions, or some subset of them. To ensure that you have all relevant information regardless of which questions you use, we have provided a general explanation of the case for each question. The redundancy in the explanations is built in intentionally. In most cases, there are multiple reasonable responses to these essay questions. Instructors should evaluate the quality of the reasoning the student employ to support their arguments. -Which one of the eight attributes of supportive communication is most violated? Why?

Your co-worker remarks to you,"You are always late to meetings,how come?" Your co-worker is practicing what type of communication?

If you believe people want to do better,to perform successfully,and to be contributors,what assumption do you make?

Your boss tells you,"If you continue to be late,you will lose your job." Did your boss practice supportive communication?

Examples of conjunctive communication include (1)"Relating to what you just said,I'd like to discuss this." (2)"...so,that's how I see it.So what is your opinion?" (3)"Let's talk about horned frogs ...No,I don't want to talk about birds ...I want to talk about horned frogs in particular and lizards in general."

When you use the reflecting response,you are trying to pursue the topic in greater depth by posing new questions that the speaker hasn't thought of.

Rejected Plans Case The following dialogue occurred between two employees in a large firm. The conversation illustrates several characteristics of supportive communication. SUSETTE: How did your meeting go with Mr. Schmidt yesterday? LEONARDO: Well, uh, it went ... aaah ... it was no big deal. SUSETTE: It looks as if you're pretty upset about it. LEONARDO: Yeah, I am. It was a totally frustrating experience. I, uh, well, let's just say I would like to forget the whole thing. SUSETTE: Things must not have gone as well as you had hoped they would. LEONARDO: I'll say! That guy was impossible. I thought the plans I submitted were very clear and well thought out. Then he rejected the entire package. SUSETTE: You mean he didn't accept any of them? LEONARDO: You got it. SUSETTE: I've seen your work before, Leonardo. You've always done a first-rate job. It's hard for me to figure out why your plans were rejected by Schmidt. What did he say about them? LEONARDO: He said they were unrealistic and too difficult to implement, and ... SUSETTE: Really? LEONARDO: Yeah, and when he said that I felt he was attacking me personally. But, on the other hand, I was also angry because I thought my plans were very good, and, you know, I paid close attention to every detail in those plans. SUSETTE: I'm certain that you did. LEONARDO: It just really ticks me off. SUSETTE: I'll bet it does. I would be upset, too. LEONARDO: Schmidt has something against me. SUSETTE: After all the effort you put into those plans, you still couldn't figure out whether Schmidt was rejecting you or your plans, right? LEONARDO: Yeah. Right. How could you tell? SUSETTE: I can really understand your confusion and uncertainty when you felt Schmidt's actions were unreasonable. LEONARDO: I just don't understand why he did what he did. SUSETTE: Sure. If he said your plans were unrealistic, what does that mean? I mean, how can you deal with a rationale like that? It's just too general meaningless, even. Did he mention anything specific? Did you ask him to point out some problems or explain the reasons for his rejection more clearly? LEONARDO: Good point, but, uh, you know ... I was so disappointed at the rejection that I was kinda like in outer space. You know what I mean? SUSETTE: Yeah. It's an incapacitating experience. You have so much invested personally that you try to divest as fast as you can to save what little self-respect is left. LEONARDO: That's it all right. I just wanted to get out of there before I said something I would be sorry for. SUSETTE: Yet, in the back of your mind, you probably figured that Schmidt wouldn't risk the company's future just because he didn't like you personally. But then, well ... the plans were good! It's hard to deal with that contradiction on the spot, isn't it? LEONARDO: Exactly. I knew I should have pushed him for more information, but, uh, I just stood there like a dummy. But what can you do about it now? It's spilled milk. SUSETTE: I don't think it's a total loss, Leonardo. I mean, from what you have told me what he said and what you said I don't think that a conclusion can be reached. Maybe he doesn't understand the plans, or maybe it was just his off day. Who knows? It could be a lot of things. What would you think about pinning Schmidt down by asking for his objections, point by point? Do you think it would help to talk to him again? LEONARDO: Well, I would sure know a lot more than I know now. As it is, I wouldn't know where to begin revising or modifying the plans. And you're right, I really don't know what Schmidt thinks about me or my work. Sometimes I just react and interpret with little or no evidence. SUSETTE: Maybe, uh ... maybe another meeting would be a good thing, then. LEONARDO: Well, I guess I should get off my duff and schedule an appointment with him for next week. I am curious to find out what the problem is, with the plans, or me. (Pause) Thanks, Susette, for helping me work through this thing. 101) Categorize each statement in the case according to the supportive communication characteristic or type of response it represents. For example, the first statement by Leonardo obviously is not very congruent, but the second one is much more so. Answer: This case illustrates a variety of response types that produce a helpful result. One lesson to be learned from this case is that outright advice is frequently not helpful because it may produce defensiveness through invalidation or superiority/inferiority feelings and because it does not produce the same level of commitment to changing or improving. In this case, Bob was allowed to clarify his feelings and formulate a plan of action that would lead to problem resolution. The following statements and principles were illustrated in this case: -Which one of the eight attributes of supportive communication was most helpful? Why?

You tell your boss that disjunctive communication can occur in three ways.They are (1)controlling airtime,(2)extended pauses,and (3)topic control.Is what you said to your boss true or false?

Communication has been studied by numerous people.What are the results of their efforts?

Sharing personal data and engaging quickly in sensitive topics is more likely to occur in which culture?

You notice that your manager frequently interrupts you; when you ask him a question,you have to repeat it two or three times before he acknowledges you.Your manager is practicing which form of communication?

You overhear a conversation where one person says,"You really believe that? I think if you look at the facts again,I'm sure you would draw a different conclusion." What would this communication be an example of?

You asked your boss when you might receive a raise.He responded by telling you how interesting the travel channel is after 10:00 p.m.What should your response probably be?

A personal management interview program is a regularly scheduled meeting including a manager and all of his or her employees.The meeting allows everyone the chance to talk together about particular issues.